Indian Thriller

Have you heard the saying 'imitation is the highest form of compliment'? This video proves that the imitation better be pretty good or else the compliment will be lost.

And this video also proves that there's only one Michael Jackson - and thank goodness for that!

Golima? Is that supposed to be Indian for 'Thriller'? It looks like the make-up artists working on this video got their supplies from a grocery store clearance aisle the day after Halloween - I had better Halloween make-up than this!

And where's Vincent Price's monologue?

What's sad is that, thanks to my overly conservative up-bringing, I can't dance any better than this guy; although I do have a pretty good Moonwalk!

QOTW: And the Oscar goes to . . .

Speaking of Best Picture . . .

Kelly and I had a chance to go out for our first 'date night' sans Tate last night. We ate at Carrabba's and saw the new film Amazing Grace.

Do yourself a favor - turn off your computer right now and go see this movie! It's absolutely a must-see! Click here for the previews.

The first thing I said to Kelly walking out of the theatre was, "It's so good to know that Hollywood can still get it right from time to time."

As for the Oscars tonight, I hope Little Miss Sunshine wins Best Picture. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard in a theatre before.

If you can fight through the 53 1/2 f-bombs, there's a great message (and dance scene) at the end!

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"Which movie is your favorite to win Best Picture at The Oscars?"

Total votes: 10

Little Miss Sunshine: 7 votes, 70%

The Departed: 2 votes, 20%

Babel: 1 vote, 10%

The Queen: 0 votes

Letters from Iwo Jima: 0 votes

My New Favorite TV Commercial

FedEx seems to be giving the beer industry a run for their money in making funny commercials.

This one ranks top of my list.

Gaylord Texan not "Tate-Friendly" *

I spent most of last week at our national sales meeting which was held right here at The Gaylord Texan Resort.

During the meeting, I had the great idea of showing off Tate to the rest of my team during dinner - what else would you expect from a proud daddy?

So as soon as the meetings for the day were finished I rushed home, grabbed Tate and caught up with everyone at the Glass Cactus - a restaurant/club on hotel property.

I wasn't there 2 minutes when security tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Sorry, sir, but you have to be 21 years or older to be in here."

I started to laugh! I turned 31 last year, buddy! Suddenly, I realized he was referring to Tate!

I tried to explain that since this was a private party (my company rented out the entire place) nobody would mind.

"Sorry, sir, hotel policy. You gotta be 21 or over."

Had I not been there on company time I probably would have fired back with some immature and sarcastic remark that would included the phrase 'give me break, man!' But since my Vice President of Sales was standing less than 10 feet away, I figured I'd just smile and leave without remark.

As I was being escorted out the door by security, a teammate asked if I was coming back.

"I don't think I have any business being in an establishment that won't allow my 2-month old son to stay for dinner."

So much for leaving without remark. The security guard gave me a look like, "Man, I don't make the rules around here."

I don't bring this up just so I can complain that The Gaylord Texan is some terrible place. (Behold! The den of Satan!)*

They have a right to do business how they see fit. (I hope they go bankrupt in a week!)*

I'm sure many families have stayed at The Gaylord Texan and had a great time. (Booking a room at the Gaylord Texan is un-American and will only encourage the terrorists!)*

I mention this because I was surprised how personal I took it. If the hotel didn't want Tate to be there then I didn't want to be at the hotel! Eventhough Tate is barely 2 months old and slept through the entire incident I couldn't help but feel sorry for him - as if he had gotten his feelings hurt!

Weird, huh?

The night ended on a good note, however. Tate and I grabbed some Chick-Fil-A and we went home to watch the Mavericks in HD - the highlight of the evening was Tate falling asleep on my shoulder.
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*If you happen to be reading this after searching for Gaylord Texan reviews then note that an * always follows extreme sarcasm! I'm being a little tongue-in-cheek here. The Gaylord Texan is a great place for families to stay.

QOTW: Be My Valentine

My most recent highly scientific poll proves what I've long suspected! There is a gender-role-double-standard associated with who has red letter day event planning responsibilities!

Who has to plan the wedding anniversary? The guy!

Who has to plan the first date anniversary? The guy!

(This is a double-fault because we also had to plan the first date as well!)

Who has to plan Mother's Day? The guy!

Who has to plan Valentine's? The guy!

Who has to plan her birthday? The guy!

Who has to come up with a good Christmas present? The guy!

Other than our own birthday and Father's Day (if even applicable!), we have to plan everything!!

And women wonder why we have trouble coming up with original ideas all year long!!

And I've got 4 words about that that great idea we had for your birthday last year: Lightning in a bottle!

You didn't expect it and neither did we!

But every year we're supposed to out-do ourselves and make this year the best yet! Nevermind that guys are secondary to gals when it comes to special event planning and originality (don't even bring romantic-ism into this!).

So, help us out and let us focus on just the one or maybe two big events of the year. That way we'll have more chance of surprising you . . . and ourselves!
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"Who is responsible for planning Valentine's Day?"

Total: 19 votes

Both: 9 votes, 47%

The guy: 8 votes, 42%

The gal: 2 votes, 10%

Kelly-ism #10

Can anybody guess what Kelly's second favorite pet is?

(Second to a certain golden retriever, of course!)




If Kelly should see puppies for sell on a corner she'll just cruise on by.

If the neighbor happens to be giving away free calico kittens she'll tell you how she's allergic to cats.

But if she should pass a miniature horse on the side of the road then be prepared to pull over for a photo-op!!

What I don't understand is why in the world would a miniature horse make such a great pet?

Do you think it would be fun to play fetch with a domesticated midget farm animal? Do you think you would be cool driving down the road with a mini-stallion sticking its head out your backseat window?

Nope, I don't think so either! But apparently, Kelly does!!

But the main reason why I can't imagine having half a horse as a pet has more to do with the not-so-miniature pooper-scooper that would be needed to clean up the backyard!

You all know how much I love my wife. But I'm telling ya' folks, she's got some crazy ideas floating around in that cute little head of hers!!

Happy Valentine's, Babe!

There are a lot of things that I could say about my beautiful Valentine today.

I could talk about how sweet she is. About what a wonderful mom she is. About how politically correct she is (sorry, inside joke!). Or maybe about all the ways she has made me a better person.

But instead, today I'm thinking about the cute little kid in Kelly. Most of the time, she likes to make you think that she's mature, proper and put-together. But there are a few moments when she'll surprise you with a little loving mischief.

Case in point: A construction crew was pouring fresh concrete in our neighborhood a couple of years ago. The little girl in Kelly couldn't resist. She made me stop the car so that she could go write in it.

So what you think she would write in the concrete? Her initials, "KES"? Or perhaps, "Kelly wuz here"? Or how about, "Kelly loves Wade"?

Nope!

I certainly wouldn't disagree! How could I?

QOTW: And the winner is . . .

I have to say, I'm really proud to see so many prefer to win a Nobel Peace Prize over an Oscar or a Grammy - which kinda makes me wish I had chosen the Nobel instead of the Espy for Best Athlete!

In my defense, my line of thinking was that my eventual contribution to society would have come by way of using my athleticism to grab Osama Bin Laden by his beard and drag his sorry toosh straight to the White House front door.

But that's me.

Out of curiosity though, I would like to hear from the other societal-contributors out there about what you would do to win the Noble Peace Prize.
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"If you could, which award would you most want to win?"

Total: 21 votes

Nobel Peace Prize: 12 votes, 57%

Pulitzer Prize: 4 votes, 19%

Oscar for Best Actor: 2 votes, 9%

Espy Award for Best Athlete: 2 votes, 9%

Grammy for Best Album: 1 vote, 4%

Kelly-ism #9

Kelly and I were watching to the weather forecast last week when the weatherman said, "We should expect a snow flake for two - but nothing more than that."

Kelly said, "Huh, I wonder where they expect those two snow flakes to land."

(Crickets chirping)

Kelly then busted out laughing and said, "You know I'm funny! You know I'm funny!"

Anyone read a good book lately? I haven't.

Umph! I'm on an agonizing streak of ho-hum books.

The covers looked good. The titles sounded great. Even the authors' photographs seemed to say, "Read my book! It won't be a waste of your time!" I was looking forward to having my mind expanded by new concepts and innovative ideas.

Yet, each time, I kept asking myself, "When is this book gonna be over!?!"

The books of suspect are His Excellency - George Washington, Mavericks at Work, Secrets of The Baby Whisperer.

They're good books badly written . . . in my humble, uneducated opinion, of course!

His Excellency has such great potential. But it's all fun and games until you put a history buff like myself to sleep before Chapter 2.

Mavericks at Work profiles successful companies that have effectively rewritten how to 'think outside the box.' The only problem is that the writers get so bogged down in the details that it takes all the fun out of reading about thinking outside the box!

The Baby Whisperer has some good comments about parenting but you have to fight through its 'chattiness' to get to the good stuff. Sorry if I offend some of you but I felt like I was reading a transcript of last week's church play group. All very interesting - but get to the point!

Plus, being called 'luv' in an English accent is cute when in person, but it comes across as a literary speed bump when used in print.

Sorry, luv!

The problem with reading a ho-hum book is that you might as well finish it since you've already started it. It's like paying to watch a bad movie at the theatre. In order to get your money's worth, you feel like you have to stay until the bitter end.

Meanwhile, you keep checking your watch and thinking of all the things you could be doing at home . . . like reading a good book!

QOTW: The Super Bowl

This article about the NFL barring an Indianapolis church from having their Super Bowl Party sparked quite a debate among the leadership at my church. We were worried that we may be breaking the law with our own Sunday night activity.

Since we didn't advertise our event (especially using the name "Super Bowl") nor did we charge for admission (why would a church charge for admission in the first place??), we felt like we were in the clear to 'party on'!

We actually called our party "Soup-er Bowl Party" and tied in a canned soup drive as a service project - for every can of soup you brought you got your name thrown into a drawing for door prizes. Of course, the cans went to the local food bank.

So c'mon and complain, NFL! We can use the publicity!!

A couple of thoughts on this year's Super Bowl:

1. Am I the only one who was completely disappointed the commercials?

2. For once, I actually enjoyed the Halftime Show. Did anyone see the irony of Prince singing Purple Rain in the rain?

3. If you want to sound like the sports-brain at work then casually mention that both the Super Bowl and the NCAA National Championship this year had a touchdown scored on the opening kick-off by the team that would ultimately lose the game.

4. Too bad HDTV doesn't do anything about foggy, rain-soaked camera shots.

5. Abilene, TX in da' house!

6. I wonder if winning Super Bowl MVP will make Peyton Manning any less of a cry baby? Na, probably not!

7. The best part about the Pre- and Post-Game Shows was that I didn't watch them.
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What is your favorite part about Super Bowl Sunday?

Total: 24 votes

The commercials: 12 votes, 50%

Last weekend of football: 5 votes, 20%

The football game: 3 votes, 12%

The halftime show: 2 votes, 8%

The Super Bowl Parties: 2 votes, 8%

Shocking Confession #5

One of my new favorite things to do when a telemarketer calls while Tate is crying is to hold the phone so all they hear is my son screeching in their ear!

Hee, hee!

Kelly says I'm being mean. You know what's mean? Calling at 9:30 at night while I'm in the middle of a bowl of Blue Bell & Magic Shell and watching last week's episode of The Office . . . and then not even trying to pronounce my last name correctly!

Now that's mean!

Tate-ism #5

"How 'bout you take a nap!"