Top Ten Signs You've Seen the ‘Star Wars' Movies Too Many Times

(Courtesy of David Letterman - although I had to change a few to keep a PG rating.)

10. Your poodles are named "C," "3," "P" and "O."

9. You won’t help out around the house unless your wife says, "Help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope."

8. You spent $10,000 trying to Rogaine yourself into Chewbacca.

7. You're continually stunned when the President makes major decisions without consulting Mark Hamill.

6. Just as you sit down to watch Episode V for the 86th time you ask yourself, “Why don’t I have something better to do?”

5. You keep referring to your lawn mower as "that crazy droid."

4. You spend most of your days trying to use "the Force" to open a can of pears.

3. You once saw an eggplant that looked kind of like Darth Vader and almost had a heart attack.

2. You constantly fear being attacked by a roving gang of Trekkies.

1. You like Yoda so much, you voted for Ross Perot in the ’92 Presidential Election.

Today's Top 10 . . .

Top 10 Reasons Why North Korea's Kim Jong-Il Wants a Nuclear Weapon:

10. His new glasses and hair-do doesn’t seem to impress the ladies.

9. All the other deranged psychotic dictators have one.

8. Wants to finally win that elusive blue ribbon at the Pyongyang Jr. High School Science Fair.

7. Actually, he thinks it’s a time machine.

6. Still mad that he wasn’t drafted to pitch for the New York Yankees.

5. Turned down by Bravo to have his own reality TV show because he wasn’t interesting enough.

4. Tired of always being mistaken for a Hobbit.

3. Things just haven’t gone well ever since he appeared on The Ricki Lake Show.

2. Wants to trade it for handful of magical beans.

1. Plans to use it on Osama Bin Laden for accusing him of cheating at Scrabble.