Friday, July 21, 2006

Worst album covers of all time!

There’s a website that I’ve wanted to blog about for a while but I haven’t because although there is some hilarious stuff on it – there’s also some really off-color humor as well. But since I don’t want you to be deprived I’ve decided to copy and paste just the good stuff. The website is porktornado.diaryland.com – click at your own risk.


The worst album covers of all time!

"Have you ever been to one of those parties where everyone sits expectantly and watches two people dance around like dorks in a dork shop? Right. No one has, because those parties don't happen. Maybe it was a simpler time when songs like “Poor Little Fool” and “Splish Splash” had some kind of mind controlling power over teenagers. It caused them to pull their pants up too high and wear the worst socks ever made. No wonder there was such condemnation of Rock and Roll in the fifties. Look at what it did to their stupid kids. Granted, this one isn’t terribly offensive, but they get worse."


"That’s right, just 'Joyce'. It practically sells itself. For as much as 50 cents, judging by the price tag. Kudos to the marketing genius who came up with this layout. Little known fact about Joyce: She started the whole “one name” thing for singers. Madonna, Cher, Prince, Pantera…all Joyce wannabes."


"The lost art of using an Olan Mills family portrait as your album cover is lost for a reason, and this is it. Polyester as far as the eye can see, and some insane woman wearing the world’s largest ball of twine on her head. The McKeithen family from left to right- Marsha, JoJack, Ma, and Jebediah. They were as functional as you would imagine any Christian family singing group would be."

"This is not a far cry from the family portrait, except they opted for the “Kountry Kowboy” lame farm background. The least they could have done is bring in a fake section of fence for them to lean on. The first concept for this cover showed the men with a piece of straw in each of their mouths, but that was too much like smoking, and thus too edgy. No one liked the guy on the left, but he coordinated their outfits, so they needed him. Coincidentally, this album is why the popular fashion movement of sweater vests with turtlenecks and checked pants never got started."

(By the way, I bumped into Brian D. in a grocery story parking lot today and he gave me a hard time for not giving him props as the one who orginally sent me this link. So, props to Brian D. - are you happy now?)

10 comments:

Katie said...

Very funny covers.

shannon said...

where do you find this stuff at? good job on keeping us all entertained!

everydaymathchick said...

Wow... once again another funny post! Thanks for keeping me entertained this summer. If you had to give in finally and get a blog, at least you decided to do it right. :-)

Shanta said...

What's up Wade?? Thanks for dropping by Serendipities.. It's so great to hear from you! Congrats to you and Kelly, it looks like you guys have a ton of wonderful blessings going on!

Keep up the posting, I'll bookmark you!

Deana Nall said...

"Dorks in a Dork Shop" would be a cool name for a rock band.

Anonymous said...

Ripped off and sterilized from the Pork Tornado blogger...

Satire and Theology said...

Hey Wade,

I saw this fine old article of yours previously and then David, another Texas link of mine (to thekingpin68) did a version, which is linked at the top of my new article. My own version is slightly different...

Cheers!

Russ;)

Satire and Theology said...

I'll link yours as well.

Wade said...

Hey Anon,

A couple of things: (1) I mention Pork Tornado by name. (2) I posted a link directly to his webpage.

But if it makes you happy, I went back and put his comments in quotes and italics just so that no one else could possibly mistake my blantant use of plagarism.

As for sterilizing Pork Tornado's humor - yeah, I did. Call me old fashioned but I just don't get molestation humor . . . and neither would most of the people reading this blog - so I left it off.

Thanks for stopping by,

W

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