Saturday, August 30, 2008

Friday, August 29, 2008

Not Bad . . . Even For Politicians!

I'm still a proud card-carrying member of the "Aw, Man! We're Not Going To Talk Politics Again, Are We?" Club . . .

But I have to say -- regardless if you're Republican, Democrat, Independant, conservative, liberal or none of the above, it's pretty cool how historical it is to have a black man on one ticket and a woman on another.

The next 67 days will be interesting. An absolute beating, perhaps! But still pretty interesting.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Kelly-ism #15

(Above is not Kelly's flair - hers is much cooler!)

Here’s one only those familiar with Facebook will get . . .

I needed to talk with Kelly the other night so I sat down across from her while she was sitting at her computer. Not able to see her screen I asked, “Is this a good time to talk – am I interrupting anything?”

Still looking at her computer Kelly replied, “Well, I am rearranging my flair!”

Gee, I guess I’ll just take a number and wait to be called!

Monday, August 25, 2008

33 Birthday Wishes

Well, another year – another birthday. Today, I turn 33.

To me, there’s not much excitement in turning 33. It’s not a milestone year. It’s not even a prime number. But it’s a birthday none the less.

So in honor of my achieving yet one more year sans death, here are my 33 random birthday wishes:

1. I wish I could hit a golf ball 275 yards straight down the fairway instead of 275 yards straight to the right - if I could, I might actually play golf.

2. I wish I was about 15 pounds lighter so I could ride my bike 5 mph faster.

3. I wish I could moderate my consumption of Dr. Pepper (sweet nectar of life!) so that I wouldn’t have to avoid it altogether.

4. I wish Blue Bell Ice Cream and Magic Shell had calories and fat grams that “don’t really count.”

5. I wish Jerry Jones would hire me to be one of his sons – oh the fun I would have in that family business!

6. I wish God used neon signs floating in the sky to tell me what he wants me to do.

7. I wish God would pull back the curtain, if only for a second, so that we could have a glimpse of Heaven.

8. I wish I could be as bold as God wants me to be.

9. I wish small, convertible (and fast!) sports cars were practical (and affordable!) automobiles for young families.

10. I wish I had kept playing the piano.

11. I wish could get more sleep.

12. I wish I could function longer with less sleep.

13. I wish Macy could wipe her feet before coming inside.

14. I also wish she could change Tate’s diapers.

15. I wish I had the ability to preview everything I say to Kelly before I say it to make sure my words and tone reflect the love I have for her.

16. I wish I could “TiVo” my radio.

17. I wish I could “TiVo” my job – that way I can press pause and come back to it whenever I want.

18. I wish my cooking tasted just like restaurant food.

19. I wish restaurant food wasn’t so dang expensive.

20. I wish I could make homemade ice cream like my grandmother.

21. I wish I knew how to fix cars.

22. I wish the Texas Ranger wouldn’t trade away every decent pitching prospect they have in the Minors.

23. I wish Jessica Simpson would stay away from Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboy Quarterback) during football season.

24. I wish the Dallas Mavericks would have just gotten it done 2 years ago when they were only 2 wins away from the championship.

25. I wish the Dallas Stars could find a goalie who could be Detroit.

26. I wish FC Dallas and the Dallas Desperados well.

27. I wish we could skip the next two and a half months of the presidential campaign and elect someone now so we can get on with our lives.

28. I wish Mac’s weren’t so dang expensive.

29. I wish someone would buy me a ski boat – because those things are expensive, too!

30. I wish Dallas/Fort Worth had more bike lanes like Roseville, CA.

31. I wish Dallas/Fort Worth was closer to the beach.

32. But at the same time, I wish Dallas/Fort Worth was closer to snow skiing in Colorado.

33. I wish the Germans would come over here and build us an autobahn – I’d love to see what my Ford Escape could do with no speed limits.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Birthday Cobbler

I have a great job that comes with great perks.

To name a few: I work from home. I have an unlimited supply of promotional gel pens. Most of my lunches are paid for. And my boss lives and works in another state!

(Hi, Brian!)

But there are some drawbacks as well: I have to deal with traffic all day long. I’m supposed to wear a tie even when it’s a hundred flippin’ degrees outside. Many of my customers don’t want to see me – another story for another time. But worst of all, because I don’t work in an office with co-workers, I have never had an office party on my birthday.

(Everybody say, “Awwwww!”)

The worst thing about birthdays as a drug rep is that most people I interact with through work don’t know it’s my birthday - and in some cases, don't even care. And I’m not so much of a dork that I would go around telling everyone it’s my birthday just so that I can get an obligatory, half-felt “Happy Birthday” greeting.

But this year is already different.

I had lunch yesterday with my #1 customer – Complete Sleep in Fort Worth.

Over the past 4 years, I’ve gotten to know the folks at Dr. Eden’s office pretty well – though Nancy and I have known each other for longer.

But to my complete surprise, I showed up for lunch yesterday and found a huge pan of birthday apple cobbler waiting for me!! I had mentioned in passing to Nancy that my favorite dessert was apple cobbler and she somehow figured out that Monday is my birthday.

So, for the first time in the history of ever, I had an office party for my birthday! But not one thrown by my co-workers, but rather by my customers!

Pretty stinkin’ cool, huh?

The best part of it all was that there was half a pan left over for me to take home – just enough to get me through the weekend!

To everyone at Complete Sleep – it was totally unnecessary, but more than appreciated! Thank you so much!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Ultimate Time Waste

I heard AM Ticket Talk Sports talking about this episode of The Six Million Dollar Man where Lee Majors' character fights Bigfoot - which ironically has nothing to do with sports!

To me, this scene symbolizes everything TV has to offer: Absolutely nuttin'!

What a time waste!

1. Now you know why Lee Majors never won so much as a Cub Scout badge for his acting . . . let alone an Emmy.

2. The sound effect for Steve Austin's (Lee Majors) six million dollar skills is grossly over-used in this scene. They play it even when he's just walking! Walking is considered bionic? Heck, I can do that! So where's my $6M??

3. Back to Majors' acting: His acting is so bad that the expression on his face when he first sees Bigfoot looks more like he was just told that there was a 45-minute wait for a table at Carrabba's rather than the alternative expression you'd expect to see when coming across a stinkin' sasquatch!

4. The lines for this scene are just as awful. The guy who wrote the script for this episode should be ashamed of himself!

Seriously, think to yourself - What would you say if you came across Bigfoot in the forest? I doubt "Can you understand me?" would be the first words out of your mouth.

Screaming like a little girl and running like h-e-double-hockey-sticks would probably be more like it!

4. As for Bigfoot, the "effects" aren’t very "special" when you can see the zipper that goes up the back of the Bigfoot costume. And do we have any evidence that Bigfoot has steel blue eyes? I think we would all agree that, according to legend, Bigfoot’s eyes are black and filled with rage.

5. Finally, which is worse: Being involved in filming this theatrical piece of garbage that time can't wait to forget . . . or wasting 30 minutes that you'll never get back by watching it on YouTube and then posting a blog about it?

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Wade vs. Road

Watching the Olympics got my competitive juices flowing so I thought I'd conjure up some friendly competition.

Since cycling versus a clock or versus some other "Armstrong wanna-be" seemed a bit boring, I had the idea of seeing what would happened when I went up against a road.

200 lbs of flesh, bone and bicycle versus several tons of gravel, limestone, sand and concrete. I know - genius, isn't it?

Place your bets!

Yep, those are 4 sutures . . . and there are 3 more underneath my skin that will dissolve in a couple of weeks. Needless to say, I lost my first head-to-head competition versus the road!

Oh well, there's always London 2012!

I'm purposefully being a bit facetious because I don't want Jeremy to feel bad for cutting me off while riding our bikes early this morning. As we approached an intersection, he thought I knew that we were turning right - I thought we were going straight.

Jeremy’s back wheel meet Wade’s front wheel. Wade meet road. Wade meet nice physician at neighborhood urgent care.

(Which happens to be the same urgent care that sewed up my finger last year!)

Shannon & Audra would be proud of me - I didn't scream, cry or make a fool out of myself by acting like a little baby - though they did have really cool retro Transformer stickers that nobody bothered to offer me!

I think my lifetime suture count is now up to 22. Is that worth a medal for anything?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I'm A Bad Blogger!

But only because I am a really great Olympics fan!

And I don't see any improvement to my blogging skills for at least another 10 days or so.

It's one thing when it's just me watching the Summer games, but once Tate crawls up in my lap and actually watches Olympic cycling with me . . . well, needless to say, there ain't much around this house getting done!

Plus, it's really funny to hear Tate say, "G-g-go!" everytime he sees a bicycle on TV!

Friday, August 08, 2008

A Great Time To Be A Fan Of Us!

It has been 4 years since I have taken the time to watch diving, canoeing, weightlifting, swimming, gymnastics, fencing, or even track and/or field.

But for the next 2 weeks I'll be watching every minute that I can!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Funny Sign I Saw at Kincaid's Hamburgers Yesterday . . .

"Unattended children will be given a cup of espresso and a new puppy."

Can you imagine the chaos that would ensue
with a restaurant full of revved-up kids with a new pet?

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Here's A Hypothetical For You . . .

I'm gonna need audience participation on this one. But first, here's the set-up:

The on-again/off-again marriage between Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers has come to this - Green Bay has offered Favre $20 million dollars over the next 10 years for him to never play football again. Not for Green Bay and certainly not for the Minnesota Vikings.

So here's the hypothetical (truth be told, I heard this orginally on Ticket Sports AM): Would you take $2 million dollars a year for the next 10 years even if it meant you could never work again for the rest of your life?

Now before you smack my forehead and call me stupid for even asking, think it through - you are not allowed to work in any way, shape or form for the rest of your life.

1. You will have no vocational outlet. You can not even work for free at your church or local school. You can do volunteer work at a non-profit charity if you wish, but you cannot hold any position of any kind. You're strictly a volunteer.

2. You can send your money to missionaries but you cannot become a missionary.

3. You can pursue new hobbies and interests but no one else can benefit from these pursuits. If you learn how to paint, you can't sell your paintings for charity or even hold a showing.

4. You may read all the books you want but you cannot write a book.

5. If you blog, you are not allowed to sell ad space and your blog content will be closely scrutinized. If you are found to have benefited from your own blog then you forfeit the entire $2 mil, including any amount already paid.

6. You may participate in charity walks, marathons, golf tournaments and bike rides but you cannot compete as an athlete, not even as an amateur.

7. Good for you if you learn how to play a new instrument. Just don't play it in front of an audience other than yourself.

8. You may spend the money however you wish but you can only invest your money in certain long-term retirement funds - no day trading!

I think you get my point. You get the money so long as you never work again. I think some people will go nuts from boredom in the first year . . . myself included!

If it were me, I would not take the money.