Tuesday, October 30, 2007

QOTW: Hallo . . . Eeeek!

The little kid in me still loves Halloween. And why wouldn't I with such a ginormous sweet tooth? In fact, it's taking every ounce of will power I can muster not to go downstairs right now and devour all 4 bags of Halloween candy in our pantry!

But the sugar-crazed little kid in me has always gotten freaked out by Halloween as well. I've never liked all the blood, guts and gore that comes along with it. I know it's all fun and games, but every year the limit on what is acceptable seems to be pushed further and further.

I know a guy who once got dressed in all-black, wrapped his 6-foot pet king corn snake around his neck and then hid in his bushes and waited for poor, unbeknownst trick-or-treaters to come up his sidewalk.

I said "once" because he got quite an earful from parents after their kids were frightened so bad they all peed their costumes and vowed never to venture out of their homes after dark ever again!

And who could blame them?

Instead, let's celebrate Halloween by following the Easter holiday example where we celebrate an actual death by posting images of cute little, fuzzy farm animals and tell stories about some larger-than-life rabbit who hops around leaving eggs for kids - another story that freaked me out when I was little!

I would still dress up if I could come up with an original and clever idea and had someone to show it off to than just my neighbors.

That being said, my sugar-drive can be so overwhelming at times that there's still a slim possibility that I could be seen tomorrow night meandering up my neighbor's sidewalk trying to pull off wearing one of my suits and slicking back my hair as a Wall Street tycoon costume just so that I can get a mini-Snickers bar.

"Gee, Wade . . . you're . . . uh . . . really going all out this year, aren't ya'?"

"Just put the candy in the bag!"

"Isn't that a plastic bag from Target?"

"Never mind that! Just give me some flippin' candy!"

Sorry to deprive you of the QOTW results but my computer is giving me all sorts of fits.

Needless to say, the majority of you would never dress up for Halloween.

Bunch of fuddy-duddies!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Mary Juanita Reneau

I had the privilege of speaking during Grandmother's funeral service yesterday. Here's what I said . . .

"Even though the presidential election is still over a year away, we're already being bombarded by presidential sound bites about values and beliefs. I can't say that I know any of the presidential hopefuls personally but I can say that they could all learn a thing or two from Grandmother about living a life according to values and beliefs.

Regardless if you agreed with Grandmother's values or beliefs, you have to stop for a moment today and recognize the incredible discipline it took for her to live her life day-in, day-out according to what she believed was true. She was, simply put, a woman of conviction.

Every thing she did, she did for a reason. And if you could trace back her steps, you would find that they all led to the same lone driving force in her life - which was to love and serve The Lord as faithfully as she could.

This meant that Grandmother had high expectations not only for herself, but for all of us as well. You always knew where you stood with Grandmother. She had that not-so-subtle way of letting you know that she expected better from you.

She held us accountable because she saw the God-given potential within us. And she knew exactly how to draw that potential out. I can remember staying the weekend with Grandmother when I was young and on one occasion she told me a story on the way to church about how my mom from time to time would have trouble sitting still during the service. Grandmother said that she would just reach over and pinch the back of my mom's arm, 'and that always seemed to settle her down.'

Now, why do you think Grandmother told me that story on our way to church? Needless to say, I was especially attentive that day during service.

And that is exactly the effect a woman of conviction should have on us. She should challenge us. She should draw out the finer qualities within us. She should make us better than we would be without her.

I will always think of Grandmother when I read about Ruth. I love Ruth. Just like Grandmother, she was a faithful woman. A hard worker. A woman of integrity. If fact, scripture tells us that even the other men working the same field as her treated Ruth with respect because they could tell she was 'a woman of noble character.'

And so was my grandmother.

Thinking about Grandmother this week has reminded me that the other women in my life have followed Grandmother's example as well. My mother, my sister and my wife are all, too, women of conviction - living their lives day-in, day-out according to values and beliefs they hold as true. Each in their own way has pushed me to be a better man than the one I would have been otherwise.

By doing so, they continue Grandmother's legacy .

Although Grandmother is gone, I believe I can honor her and continue her legacy by serving and loving The Lord as faithfully as I can and holding true to the same convictions day-in, day-out.

I love my grandmother and will miss her terribly."

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Blog Stalker Anonymous

"Hello, my name is Wade . . . and I'm a blog stalker."

Shannon's recent post has forced me to pull out my soap box.

(Oh, dear! Here we go again!)

I've never understood why people are so reluctant to introduce themselves, either electronically or in person, to people whose blogs they've stalked. Possibly it's because they are afraid they'll be thought of as weird or creepy because they read blogs of people they don't know.

I'm comfortable with blog stalking because people, myself included, have posted their blogs on the world wide web where the whole wide world can read it! And I've never understood why you would get weirded out by someone you don't know reading your blog. If you don't want the unknowns to be "in the know", then I'd suggest a leather-bound journal you can keep in your sock drawer!

Getting weirded out by blog stalkers is like getting bent out of shape because your neighbors watch while you get dressed in your front yard. If you don't want your neighbors to watch then don't get dressed in the front yard!

(I know that analogy is pretty random but it's true - think about it!)

Secondly, as I tried to point out to Shannon, most people want to know who's reading their blog. Granted, if you've got a nervous twitch, a psychotic laugh and bear a striking resemblance to a serial killer then, yeah, don't be too surprised if after you introduce yourself you notice the blog has suddenly gone to restricted access.

But the truth is, most of us out here are of perfectly sound mind and want little more than an just little cyber-entertainment by the way of cute baby pictures, funny stories and an occasional comment derived from intelligent thought.

And I think it's a great compliment to say to someone, "You don't know me but I really enjoy your blog!"

So let me encourage you stalkers to come out of the shadows and stop worrying if you give someone the creeps . . . because whether or not the rest of us will admit it, we are all blog stalkers!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

This One's For Jody

Sorry about the heavy sports theme I've been rolling with recently - but, it is that time of year.

Jody and I were laughing about some of the funny ESPN commercials. Here are a couple I dug up on YouTube.

This first one is a classic.

Here's some background info for you non-sportsy type people - this next commercial is implying that Drew Brees drives a Mardi Gras float for a car simply because he's the quarterback for the New Orleans Saints.

Did you really think I would post about ESPN commercials and not include the two with Tony Romo?

Monday, October 22, 2007

QOTW: Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Although I was pretty high on the Cowboy game I went to last week, I walked away wondering if the best seat may not have been back in my own house. So I made a list of Pro's & Con's of attending a NFL game at Texas Stadium.

Going to the game:

1. Arriving at Texas Stadium at 2:00 for a 3:15 kick-off but end up missing nearly the entire 1st Quarter because it took until 3:45 to pull into a parking spot . . . Con!

2. Having to pay an additional $80 for that parking spot . . . Con!

3. Having to deal with a drunk Patriot fan who kept yelling, "All day long!" at us every time the Patriots so much as made a first down . . . Con!

(I so wanted to pop him in the mouth and yell, "All day long!" . . . but ya' know that whole WWJD thing!)

4. Luke-warm bottled water: $5.00 Hot Dog boiled sometime early that morning: $7.50 . . . Con!

5. Putting up with some dude on our row who kept leaving his seat to buy beer only later having to leave his seat again to go pee . . . and doing so each time in the middle of a play . . . Con!

6. Having your $6.50 watered-down Coke knocked over by said-dude while he was shuffling off to the little boy's room . . . and him being too drunk to notice . . . Con!

7. Not hearing a word of Michael Irvin's Hall of Fame Ring Ceremony during Half Time because I'm deaf in a one ear . . . Con, but I've grown used to it!

8. Playing bumper cars in the parking lot with a bunch of drunk Patriot fans while trying to leave after the game . . . Con!

9. Seeing Tom Brady (future Hall of Famer) throw 5 touchdowns in person even though it's against the Cowboys . . . Pro! (Hey, you've got to recognize greatness when you see it.)

Staying At Home:

1. Watching the game in HD on my flat screen . . . Pro!

2. Watching the game while sitting in my big, fat recliner . . . Pro!

3. Being married to a dear, sweet, loving wife who is always more than happy to bring me another Dr. Pepper from the fridge . . . Pro! (Love ya', Babe!)

4. Falling asleep in my big, fat recliner during the 4th Quarter after the Cowboys have wrapped up yet another "W" . . . Priceless!

I guess that pretty much settles it!

Would you rather see a major sports event in person or watch it at home in HD?

Total votes: 16

Got to be there in person!: 43% (7 votes)

Stay At home!: 56% (9 votes)

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Prayers For My Family . . .

My 103-year old grandmother passed away today.

It's weird how this is one of those passings that was probably for the best.

Grandmother had not been herself for the past several years. Although she was never diagnosed, I think she suffered from dementia. There were only a few members of our family that she even recognized let alone talked to - I was not one of them.

Physically, however, she was quite healthy for someone having reached the century mark. We actually thought she would pass away a couple years ago when she fell and broke her hip. The decision was made to go ahead with surgery and put a titanium rod in her leg. After the surgery she refused all pain medication!

Talk about one tough grandma!

Grandmother started a fever on Friday and began "shutting down". A nurse was by her side this morning when she took a final deep breath and then slipped away peacefully. She never seemed to be in any pain or discomfort.

Mom seems to be doing well. Even though this was expected it's still hard. My sister and I are taking the lead in organizing the funeral so that Mom and the rest of the family can grieve.

So prayers, if you please. Prayers for my mom and my family. Prayers for this week as we prepare to say good-bye. And, most of all, prayers of praise as my grandmother finally reaches Heaven.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Random Google Search Results #2

If EDMC doesn't mind me once again stealing one of her bits then I'll share some more random Google searches that have led people to my blog.

1. "end of q-tip came off in my ear" - Unfortunately, I can relate.

2. "does Dr. Pepper induce labor" - In nearly 30 years of consumption, Dr. Pepper has never once caused me to go into labor. Believe me, you would know if it had!

3. "how do I give my dad a sponge bath" - Blind-folded!

4. "would shooting a giant bug kill it" - According to some horror/sci-fi movies, not necessarily! (See Starship Troopers - but only if you must!)

5. "laser beam kills bugs" - Good to know! A can of Raid also seems to do the trick.

(People sure seem to be taking some drastic measures to kill bugs! Sheesh!)

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Dallas Cowboys Are Great! But Unfortunately Not The Best!

To further my addiction to all things Dallas Cowboys and Tony Freakin' Romo, my college roommate Brian and I took in the Cowboy-Patriot game today at Texas Stadium!

Yes, I know we look like a couple of twinkies but what are you supposed to do when you show up and realize that you're both wearing basically the same t-shirt! So before you all leave a ton of comments making fun of us please know that this was not by design! I actually wanted to come in a Santa Claus suit and hold a sign that read John 3:16!

There were supposed to be 4 of us at the game but the other two opted to sell their $75 tickets at the last minute for $350 each. Any day trader will tell you that's a great return on investment but it would have taken crazy money for me to not go to this game!

Two 5-0 teams playing each other in what is no doubt a Super Bowl preview! (Boy, have I drunken the Cowboy cool-aid or what?)

I was able to catch two of the game's highlights on my camera. In the this first clip, notice Brian "popping" his t-shirt at some Patriot fans sitting behind us after a Cowboy touchdown. The video ends with a shot of slightly annoyed Patriot fans! Hee, hee!

In this next clip, you'll see some really bad "belly shots" of the people sitting around me. I was high 5'ing everyone after another touchdown and didn't realize the camera had a bad angle. Towards the end you'll see Brian dance a little jig in the aisle - after which the guy behind us told Brian that he needed to work on his moves!

I decided not to wear a Santa suit because I thought I'd look really silly. Apparently I wouldn't have had anything to worry about with this guy sitting a couple of rows in front of us. What a buffoon!

Unfortunately the game turned into a shellacking. Patriots won 48-27. It's not that the Cowboys are that bad - it's that the Patriots really are that good!

But even with the loss, I'll gladly pass up on $350 to take in a Cowboy game with one of my greatest friends!

Go Cowboys!

Friday, October 12, 2007

Obsessive Compulsive Confession #3

Sheets on my bed have to be tucked in a certain way or else I can't fall asleep.

Last night I made Kelly get out of bed at 11:30 at night because the sheets weren't tucked in just right.

There has to be a certain amount of "tucked-in-ness" at the feet. If they aren't tucked in then the sheets feel like they could just slide off the bed during the night. And sheets that just slide off the bed in the middle of the night is never a good thing.

Also, the sheets and the blanket have to be tucked in evenly. If there's more sheet than blanket on either side then I have to re-make the whole bed!

Sad, isn't it? I'm still replaying my childhood to find where my parents went wrong to give me such neurotic behavior!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Waste of Time Website of the Week #4

Having recently shared that I have a newfound man-crush on Dallas Cowboy Quarterback Tony Romo, I think that I should also share with you my new home page on my computer . . .

Yep, TonyFreakinRomo.com! The only website dedicated to all things Tony freakin' Romo!

Nowhere else can you learn so much about the NFL's greatest quarterback! I found the following from the biography page:

"NASA employed Tony Romo for 9 days where he designed, built, and threw a rocket into orbit. That only took one day, but there was a big softball tournament coming up that was 8 days long…and they needed a ringer."

"Des Moines, Iowa was having a crime problem. They installed billboard pictures of Tony Romo around the city and overnight crime went down to –9%; that’s right, people started giving stuff to each other."

"Tony Romo won Prom King all four years of high school…in every high school in the state."

The website is freakin' hilarious so check it out!

Monday, October 08, 2007

A Family That Pukes Together . . . Laughs Together???

Like I said, Tate had quite a laugh when I threw up from a stomach virus last week! Thinking I could get him to smile for Kelly's photo-op in the backyard, I thought I'd "re-enact" the occaision!

It worked!

The really funny thing about this video is that directly behind our fence was a playground full of kids and parents. No doubt there were some puzzled looks as strange sounds were coming from our backyard!

I love how his thumb goes right back in his mouth as soon as he's done laughing!

Sunday, October 07, 2007

QOTW: Still Nuttin' Good On TV . . .

"Hey! Isn't that the joker who came up with the stupid idea of a TV series based on cavemen characters from an insurance company's ad campaign?"

"Yeah, I'd sure hate to be that guy!"

"What is your prediction for ABC's new TV series 'Cavemen'?"

Total votes: 18

The best thing on TV since Seinfeld: 0% (0 votes)

A couple of laughs for a couple of seasons: 5% (1 vote)

Should have stuck with just the funny commercials: 38% (7 votes)

If the commercials aren't funny then why do they think a TV series would be?: 55% (10 votes)

Friday, October 05, 2007

"We've Been Had!"

You don't have to be a big baseball fan to appreciate a prank call made to ESPN.

ESPN Sports Anchor Dan Patrick thought he was interviewing Steve Bartman, the fan who deflected the foul ball during the Cubs game.

It's quite obvious that he wasn't!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

For The Sake of Steve Bartman . . . Go Cubs!

For those of you don't know him, Steve Bartman supposedly is a really nice guy. Unfortunately, he's one of the most despised men in Chicago.

On October 14, 2003, Major League Baseball's Chicago Cubs were 5 outs away from going to the World Series - a would-be first for the Cubs since 1945 - when a foul ball was hit in Bartman's direction. The admittedly poor quality video below will remind you what happened next . . .

"Historians" point to that incident as the moment that shifted momentum in the game and ultimately caused the Cubs to lose the series to the Florida Marlins.

So, now all of Chicago's north side believes that it was Bartman who kept the Cubs from going to the World Series and he has since become vilified by Cub fans everywhere.

"Bartman had to be led away from the park under escort for his own safety, due to Cubs fans shouting profanities towards him, as well as others throwing debris onto the field and towards the exit tunnel from the field. The game was delayed for approximately 6 minutes." (Wikipedia)

"According to The Wall Street Journal, Bartman's name, as well as personal information about him, appeared on Major League Baseball's online message boards minutes after the game ended. The next day, the Chicago Sun-Times also released his name, as well as his address and place of business in an online article. The editor justified this by saying Bartman's information was already "out there." Bartman was hounded by reporters; he had his phone disconnected and did not go to work. In his defense, childhood neighbors said he was a great guy, a lifelong Cubs fan, and a Little League coach for the town of Niles." (Wikipedia)

Apparently, even beer companies got in on the scape-goating.

I bring all of this up to say that, at least for this one month out of the year that I actually give a hoot about baseball, I'm going to cheer for the Cubs!

Why, you ask?

Because Steve Bartman deserves the right not to be ambushed by lunatic Cub fans as he walks from his front door to his mailbox every morning!

And from now on, every year that the Cubs make it back to the playoffs, we're all going to have to relive that oh-so-terrible day in sports history when those lovable loser Cubs were yet again denied their "precious right" to a Pennant!

So now maybe if the Cubs could actually win a playoff series, much less a World Series, maybe me, Steve and rest of the wide, wide world of sports will finally be able to move on with our lives!

So will you all please join me as we collectively yell, "Go Cubs!"

(I got your back, Steve!)

PS: My next post will be about the phone interview with Bartman and Dan Patrick. If you know the whole story of that interview, please don't let the "cat out of the bag" before I get a chance to post about it - we'll talk about it then.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Annoying Telemarketers

A friend sent me this audio of some guy playing a prank on a telemarketer - pretty funny.

Monday, October 01, 2007

I've Got A Stomach Virus And A Urinary Track Infection! Isn't That Hysterical?

. . . At least it is for Tate!

During my post-Cowboy game celebratory activities yesterday afternoon (by the way, after a talk with a friend of mine today I've discovered that I have a new found man-crush on Tony Romo!) I noticed my stomach making some not-so-funny noises. The next thing I knew I was yukkin' up my lungs in the bathroom!

Apparently it's all fun and games for Tate because every time he heard me ralph from the other room he would squeal and laugh out loud! Pretty darn funny isn't it, little guy!

What do I have to do for a little sympathy around here? Sheesh!

I'm feeling a little better thanks to a cocktail of assorted 8-syllable prescription medications. I'm also hoping that taking in tonight's game of Patriots v Bengals will help a little as well.

And, no, there is nothing that could happen tonight that would make me have a man crush on Tom Brady!