T3: Tate's 3rd Birthday Video

It's probably bad form to follow a post about how I've recommitted myself to my blog (so that my second child wouldn't feel neglected) with another post of a video solely dedicated to my first child.

But therein lies Real World Lesson #1 for Child #2 . . . Life ain't fair. Accept it and move on!

Having said that, let's move on to T3 - Tate's 3rd Birthday Video.

Happy Birthday, Buddy Boy! You'll never know how proud I am of you!

Tate-ism #18

Tate began his bedtime prayer the other night by saying:

"Dear God, thank you for washing your hands."

It's pretty obvious he's trying to pass on the positive reinforcement he has been getting lately.

"I Watch Monster Trucks!"

I had the opportunity to take Tate to his first monster truck rally last Friday.

(OK, it was a first for me, too!)

There are plenty of things I could say (ie: jokes) about my fellow audience members but I'll just leave that alone and instead simply ask . . . is it really necessary to sing both the National Anthem as well as Lee Greenwood's I'm Proud To Be An American?

The funny thing was how most of the crowd sang Lee Greenwood's song with more passion than they did the National Anthem. Don't get me wrong - I bleed red, white and blue with the rest of them - but do we really need to fight through a cassette recording-fed-through-the-PA-system-version of that song just so that we can prove to the terrorists that nothing is going to stop us from using gawdy monster trucks to crush poor, helpless junk cars from the 70's & 80's?

But I digress! Now on to the good stuff . . .

Here's video of Tate not quite for sure what to think of the ear-splitting monster trucks popping wheelies over junk cars. He eventually relaxed and enjoyed himself - so much that ever since last Friday night, all Kelly and I have heard him say is, "I watch monster trucks!"

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Tate vs. The Church of Later-Day Saints

You know those moments when you're trying to help your wife out the door for her Girls' Night Out while at the same time trying to keep your impatiently hungry two-year old from knawing on the floorboards?

Well, add to that your friendly neighborhood Missionary-Mormon-On-A-Bicycle standing at your front door!


Umph! I've got nothing against these guys - honestly, I actually admire the way they proactively speak about their faith and practice evangelism. I just wish they wouldn't proactively speak and evangelize when I'm having one of those moments.

Then again, I'm the knucklehead who answered the door!

Ding-dong!

Me: [failed smile] . . . Hi . . .

(The first thing I noticed was that he looked like he was about to have a heat stroke - but what else should you expect when you wear a tie and black pants when it's four thousand degrees outside!)

Mr. Mormon: Hi, my name is [can't remember] and I'm spending time in your neighborhood asking folks like you what you think about your salvation.

Me: . . . . uh . . . . .

(Why am I always at a loss of words when I'm put on the spot like this?!?!?!)

[Enter Tate from Stage Right. He obviously assumed he was allowed to use his outside voice simply because the front door was open. It was all I could do to keep Tate from bolting out the open door and taking off down the street.]

Tate: I KICK THE SOCCER BALL!!!

Mr. Mormon: . . . . uh . . . . .

(I love watching 20-year olds struggle to hold a conversation with my 2-year old!)

Mr. Mormon: . . . . um, as I was saying, have you considered a relationship with Jesus Christ?

(Dang! This guy is good!)

Me: [I go into a 2-minute rambling explanation about he need not worry because we were Christians. I somehow ended with the hardly-convincing phrase, "So, we're all good!" Yeah, that'll convince him!]

Tate: I WAKE UP!!!

(Apparently Tate wanted to address any confusion as to his status following his afternoon nap.)

Mr. Mormon: [failed smile] . . . I can see that!

(Apparently the Church of Latter Day Saints failed to prepare him on what to do when a 2-year old keeps interrupting his Come-to-Jesus Moment!)

Mr. Mormon: So, how has your relationship with Christ played a role in your family?

Me: C'mon, man! (Yeah, I actually said "C'mon, man!") My wife and I are following God's plan in our marriage and in our family. I apprecaite that you've stopped by - have a nice day!

Tate: I GO TO THE NEW HOUSE!!!

[And with that, Mr. Mormon was thoroughly confused!]

From now on, I think I'm just going to let Tate handle all the conversations about my salvation.

Bring on the Hira Krishnas!!

A Father's Day Tate-ism

"Happy Mother's Day, Daddy!"

(Uh . . . thanks Buddy Boy!)

Cool Thumb Luke

Not many people can pull off "cool" while sucking their thumb!

Happy Mother's Day!

I tried to make a cute video with Tate for Kelly for Mother's Day. And it is cute so long as you don't gag from the extreme close-up of Tate chewing his Krispy Kreme doughnut and "eating" his chocolate milk.

(???? . . . it was early and I obviously wasn't completely awake yet!)

But I'll say what Tate can't . . .

Happy Mother's Day, Kelly! You really are the perfect mom for Tate. God knew exactly what he was doing when He placed Tate in your care! Thank you for all that you do for Tate (and me!).

We both love you so much!

I'm Starting His Training Early!

He may not know how to draft a peloton or how to keep an aerodynamic tuck . . . but at least I've got Tate looking good on three wheels!

Wade & Tate's Weekend O' Fun! (Part I)

Kelly took a spur-of-the-moment trip down to San Antonio for some much-deserved "Kelly Time" with her friend Garyn, who's about to move far, far away to Atlanta.

(We'll miss you Garyn & Zach! Sniff, sniff!)

So that means it's just the boys this weekend! Hmmmm, I wonder what we can do.

The car show is in town. There's indoor swimming at Keller Pointe. Krispy Kremes for Sunday breakfast. And don't forget the big game on Sunday whose name I can't mention due to rediculous trademark restrictions!

(Super Bowl, Super Bowl, Super Bowl! There, I said it! So sue me NFL!!!!)

So first things first! Tate and I reved up the testosterone to 7500 rpm at the Fort Worth Auto Show!

It seems that Tate has great taste - his favorite is this Audi R8! The MSRP is only a mere $118,000! Get a job, kid!



Or we can scale it back a bit and just go with this Smart Car for only $16,500*!


(*Energetic High School Musical-quoting niece not included)

But did I buy myself a new car? Well, let's just say that the night definitely ended with me spending a lot of money . . . though all of it Monopoly money that I spent in my "happy place"!

Sigh . . . one day!

Tate-ism #17

We have entered a new phase with Tate.  It's the "Be very careful what you say because Tate is listening and you'd be surprised how much he understands" Phase.

(Man, they've got to find a shorter name for this phase!)

Anyway, I was woken up the other morning by my 2-year old's soothing and angelic voice coming through the baby monitor.

"Wade!  Wade!  Basketball! . . . . Wade?  WAAAAAAADE!!!!!! . . . Basketball please!"

I just turned and looked at my half-sleeping wife as if somehow she were the one who taught him that . . . and then I got out of bed and played basketball with my son at 7:15 in the morning.

Little Man Tate Turns Two!

It has been as busy here as it has been for everyone else so it took me a while to put this together.

Happy Birthday, Buddy Boy!

What Goes Around, Comes Around!

Deep inside, I knew this moment would eventually come. It wasn’t a matter of if but a matter of when – especially considering all the destruction I caused while growing up.

There was the time when I played tackle football with a friend inside the house. My “Hail Mary” pass sailed over the couch (which was the designated end zone) and split my mom’s crystal candlesticks like an extra point attempt splits the uprights.

Her ensuing rage was justified seeing how the rarely-used-but-now-shattered candlesticks were a wedding gift. And suggesting that Elmer’s glue may possibly provide a quick fix didn’t do much to calm her down either.

Another time, I had the great idea of writing a poem to my mom on her bathroom mirror – perhaps I was still feeling guilty about the candlesticks.

I was a bit surprised how unimpressed she was with my resourcefulness of using every lipstick and make-up pencil I could find in her drawer as writing utensils. The poem was short and needed overly-detailed illustrations of me and my mom for visual effect. Unfortunately for me, neither the poem nor the pictures achieved their intended effect - quite the opposite actually seeing how I ruined her entire stash of lipstick!

But I feared fear itself when I wrecked my dad’s beloved 1984 Mazda RX-7 . . . twice! You know the one with the rotary engine? I was 15 years old the first time I laid a scratch coming out of second gear – and don’t ask why I was laying scratches when I was only 15 years old!

Unfortunately, I laid much more than just a scratch when I slammed it in into 2 other cars. It took a month to find a car insurance company that would cover me!

I recount my own adolescent path of destruction so as to remind myself not to get too bent out of shape when Kelly tells me, for instance, that Tate has bent my glasses out of shape.

It’s hard to get upset because it’s partially my fault. Anything within Tate’s reach is fair game and these were left on my night stand. Besides, how do you lecture a 2-year old about how he should keep his sticky little fingers to himself and not further handicap his visually-impaired father?

I can't help but wonder if Tate is trying to send me some kind of message through my mangled specs. Perhaps I've been putting his diapers on a little too tight lately. Maybe he's getting sick and tired of being forced to listen to all-Beatles-all-the-time in the car. Maybe he really does prefer Elmo over The History Channel.

Naaa!!

Oh well, I had just hoped that the inevitable destruction would happen later rather than sooner.

What goes around, comes around - right?

My Observations From Our 10-Year Reunion at ACU Last Weekend

1. Don’t sign up to help with the Annual Fund Campaign unless you’re comfortable with calling people you haven’t talked to in a really long time to ask them to donate large sums of money to ACU while the economy is bad, they're still paying off students loans, and/or they’re expecting another baby soon.

2. If you haven’t heard from me in years but suddenly notice my name pop up on your caller ID . . . don’t pick up the phone unless you’re comfortable listening to me stammer around for 20 minutes while I work up the nerve to ask you to donate large sums of money to ACU and then beg you to come back for Homecoming.

3. In case you forgot, Eastland is a speed trap!

4. In case you get pulled over in Eastland, be polite, smile, apologize and whimper as if you’re about to cry. Apparently that’s all it takes to get away with only a warning!

(Whew!)

5. There are two ways to be cool at ACU. First way: Pull out your iPhone in the middle of Chapel and text the person sitting two seats down from you – hey, all the other students were doing it!

6. Or, the second way . . . you can just be Kooooooooool!

(Is it just me or am I starting to look like Kool with my sunglasses and whiskers????)

7. Of all the people I bumped into, only once did I find myself in a conversation with someone who I apparently was supposed to know but had absolutely no clue who they were. I just kept thinking, “Keep the conversation as vague and generic as possible!”

8. There’s no quicker way to endear yourself to the President of ACU than by handing him your child and making he and his wife pose for a photo by saying, “Full Scholarship!”

(Now I have photographic evidence that he promised Tate a full ride!)

9. Judging by how things went during the Gamma Sigma Phi Breakfast, the guys I was in club were the most fun. All the younger alumni were way too serious and kept looking over their shoulders at us. All in good fun, boys!

10. Carrying a highchair through The Bean for your son to sit in is a very surreal moment.

11. Why is it that when Tate screams at the top of his lungs and runs circles around The GATA Fountain all the college girls giggle and comment on how cute he is . . . but when I did the same thing 10 years ago they all just looked the other way and acted like I didn’t exist?


12. You know you’re old when you can be overheard saying while walking across campus, “Wow! I can’t believe how big these trees have grown!” I must have said that 20 times!


13. You also know you’re old when you’re actually excited about going back to the hotel for Tate’s afternoon nap instead of going to the football game – GSP breakfast came really early that morning!

14. I now have another reason to be insanely jealous of my best friend/college roommate's back swing. Not only did Brian's group win the Homecoming Golf Tourney but he made a freakin' hole-in-one! I'm telling you, his back swing is such sweetness!

The sad part is that there was a hole-in-one contest for a free pick-up truck on the front nine - Brian made his ace on the back nine! But don't feel sorry for him, he still walked away with a free set of irons. Plus, this is his 3rd hole-in-one!

He's such a show-off, the jerk!

(Thanks Amy for letting me steal your photo!)

15. The two things that make the weekend all worthwhile: Great friends & great memories!

Tate's First Highlight Reel

Wade & Tate's Little Adventure

Kelly, Tate and I drove down to San Antonio this past weekend to visit some friends who just had a baby. Since Kelly wanted some “Kelly time” with her old college roommate and baby Campbell, Tate and I hopped on plane back to D/FW on Saturday.

OK, so did you get that? Tate and I hopped on a plane . . . by ourselves . . . just him and me . . . no Kelly . . . no help . . . no supervising adults . . . no problem!

So here are a few observations of our 45-minute excursion at 25,000 feet.

1. You can get through security a whole lot faster when you’re a single parent with a child. Apparently TSA agents are suckers for blond-haired, blue-eyed, nearly 2-year olds who make an effort to show everyone his Hot Wheels car.

(I’m not sure if that’s supposed to make me feel better or worse about homeland security!)

2. Unfortunately the single-parent-with-child doesn’t get you squat at the food court. All I wanted to do was to purchase a cup of fruit yogurt. But after 4 minutes of standing at the cash register while waiting for the guy whose name tag simply said “trainee” to figure out how to run my credit card I caught myself actually wondering how bad it could be if Tate didn’t get a snack before getting on the plane. I never found out because “trainee” eventually figured it out.

(And yes, it was 4 minutes! You tend to notice how long things take when you're carrying two bags and restless child!)

3. At home, we’ll use videos from time to time when we need to occupy Tate for a few minutes. But apparently all we have to do is park a MD-80 in our backyard and he’ll stay glued to the window for hours.


4. There’s nothing better when you’re flying alone with a 22-month old when the lady at the gate informs you that there are only 30 people on your flight and you’ll have the entire aisle to yourself!

(Kudos to Kelly for booking us on this flight!)

5. There’s no doubt left in your mind on whether your 22-month old understands that he’s flying in an airplane when he starts yelling, “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” during take-off so loud that the pilot can hear him!

6. Thank the Lord in Heaven for portable DVD players!


7. The Evil Empire isn’t doing you any favors (and they rarely do!) when they make you stow away all your toys, books, and games prior to landing and then make you sit on the tarmac for 15 minutes with nothing to distract your child while you wait for some other plane to pull away from your gate. Have you ever tried to make the booklet explaining the emergency exits sound exciting to your child?

“And look, Tate! After we crash land in the ocean, we get to use our seat cushions as floatation devices until help arrives!”

It was a great little adventure for the two of us! Tate obviously won’t remember it, but it’ll go down as one of my favorites!

Tate-ism #16

When Tate and I pulled into Krispy Kreme's parking lot this morning, he pointed and said, "Elmo car!"

Tate-ism #16

When Tate and I pulled into Krispy Kreme's parking lot this morning, he pointed and said, "Elmo car!"

I'm A Bad Blogger!

But only because I am a really great Olympics fan!

And I don't see any improvement to my blogging skills for at least another 10 days or so.

It's one thing when it's just me watching the Summer games, but once Tate crawls up in my lap and actually watches Olympic cycling with me . . . well, needless to say, there ain't much around this house getting done!




Plus, it's really funny to hear Tate say, "G-g-go!" everytime he sees a bicycle on TV!

Mama Come Home!

Kelly headed down to San Antonio this past weekend for a much deserved trip on her own to see an old roommate. That left Tate and I home alone to do guy stuff like swing in the back yard, eat Krispy Kremes and swim at the local mini-Hurricane Harbor.

Unfortunately it was not a weekend without its tears . . . for either of us!

Me first.

Tate and I were in the back yard playing our favorite game of Swing & Dog Poop. That's where Tate flies back and forth in his swing while I clean up dog poop. I don't care for the game much myself but Tate really seems to enjoy it.

But this time was particularly bad - while bending over to pick up Macy's latest contribution to our yard I suddenly felt something crawling just behind my ear. Then there was a sudden stinging pain!

I slapped the back of my head and watched a crumpled up wasp fall to the ground! I got stung by a wasp while cleaning up dog poop!!

Crimeny!

Since I didn't feel that stomping it to death was sufficient retribution for its malfeasance, I rushed into the house and grabbed a can of bug spray for good measure!

(This proves that I would be a terrible world leader as I always opt for chemical warfare!)

I didn't have any reaction to the sting other than a burning scalp and a serious case of the "creepy crawlies."

Stupid wasp!

Tate had a great weekend . . . if you exclude the fact that he spent it teething!!!!

I actually wondered if Kelly purposefully planned to be away this weekend - not that I blame her if she did!

I thought surely the local swimming pool could appease him but there was no such luck. In fact, he had an all out meltdown and screamed at some lady just for swimming too close to us! I was quick to apologize and tell her that Tate was teething but she gave me one of those "Uh-huh, sure!" looks!

Whatever, Flipper!

The sad part was hearing Tate ask for Kelly all weekend long, "Mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama!"

Oh sure, it's cute and adorable . . . until you hear it 50 times in a row!! At which point I caved in as well, "Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly!"

Oh well! When all else fails - try sugary snacks!

My New Favorite Picture of Tate & I