I'm going to shave my head!

I recently paid a woman $27 to cut my hair – Kelly says I spend too much for a men’s haircut.

I’ve never enjoyed getting my hair cut. I hate the before, during and after feeling.

The before feeling is mostly doubt. “Why do I keep going to this same lady? If she is so good then why can I get an appointment at any time that I ask? I wonder if someone else can cut my hair for less money? But if they are cheap then will my haircut look cheap?”

The during feeling is mostly concern. “Holy Cow! She’s cutting off too much hair – I said ‘trim’! Why does she have to talk so much? Stop talking and pay attention to what you’re doing woman! Why is she pulling out the clippers? She didn’t use clippers last time!”

The after feeling is a combination of discomfort, embarrassment and regret. The discomfort is because of the itching caused by the bazillion teeny, tiny pieces of hair that are now covering my neck and shoulders - I hate clippers! The embarrassment comes from walking out of the salon with my hair styled in no way near how it was when I walked in – you would think a stylist would know that the wet look is no longer in style. The regret actually comes from not having her shave my head so that I can just be done with it all! Hey, it works for Bruce Willis!

I promise I’m not high maintenance when it comes to my hair. But I certainly don’t want to look like it got trimmed by a weed-whacker! Sure I can go to CheapCuts ‘R Us and walk out with less hair on my head but I run the risk of also having my ears trimmed as well . . . all for just $9.99!

Why is it that women can justify the amount of money they spend on their manicures, pedicures, highlights, brow waxes and facials as 'neccessary expenses' but when a guy spends more than $15 on a haircut he’s ‘high maintenance’? I think it’s worth the money just to go without all the worrying.

One good thing about the Bruce Willis look: it’s definitely no maintenance!