Bumper Sticker(s) Of The Day #2

I recently saw the following 2 bumper stickers.

"Annoy a conservative - Defend the constitution."

"Annoy a liberal - Work hard and be happy."

I saw them both in a parking lot so I wish I had thought to take a picture but I didn't. Probably just as well seeing how if I had I'm sure the owner would have walked up just in time to see me snapping shots of his car and then proceeded to run me over with said-vehicle.

For the record, I find both bumper stickers equally hysterical. For those of you who love one but hate the other - lighten up!

But if you're wondering who is getting the biggest laugh then it has to be CafePress.com - the website that is selling both bumper stickers!

You gotta love capitalism!

What bothers me are the people who actually buy these bumper stickers and put them on their cars. Again, we're all entitled to our own opinions - but this kind of stuff just perpetuates the perception that there's some great political divide in our country.

It makes me realize that, politically speaking, this is going to be a very long year!

Umph!

Political Disclaimer: If you're about to post a comment that happens to be a mind-numbing political diatribe on how either the Republicans or Democrats are ruining the country, please click here instead.

QOTW: (Sniff, Sniff) Is That You Or Me?

Seriously? 63% of you would go the entire summer without deoderant for $25K?

Speaking as one who sweats like a banshee, I find everyone's willingness to "raise your hand" quite surprising!

(Name that deoderant commercial - 'Raise your hand! Rasie your hand if you're _____!)

I realize $25K is a lot of money but is it really worth it? Especially since you can't tell people why your own dog is too embarrassed to be seen (or smelt) with you.

Me thinks full consideration wasn't given to the laundry list of problems with going sans underarm protection.

Such as:

1. Your boss having to tell you that your natural body aroma isn't as sweet as you thought it was.

2. You keep getting emails from the local hyperhidrosis support group - a group for those sufforing from a medical condition characterized by excessive sweating.

3. You go way over-budget on your monthly perfume/cologne expenses. (But I guess it doesn't matter since you're about to get $25K, right?)

4. Your friends allow you over for dinner only if you duct tape lemon wedges under your arms.

5. Al Gore references your arm pits as examples of global warming.

I'm sure you'd all spend your deoderant-less summer dreaming about how you would spend your $$$ - my recommendation would be to first replace your entire wardrobe!

Or is that why you would agree to such a stunt in the first place?
____________________________________________________

"Would you go an entire summer without wearing deoderant for $25,000? (You can't tell people why!)"

Total votes: 22

Sign me up!: 63% (14 votes)

A summer in the Artic Circle maybe: 22% (5 votes)

Not worth it!: 13% (3 votes)

Where Your Fort Worth Tax Dollars Are Going

So I'm driving down Camp Bowie Blvd today and I start thinking, "Man! This road has been under construction forever! When are they gonna finish?"

Then I passed a sign that gave me the answer.

Figures!

Are they replacing only one brick a day? Sheesh!

Keep Your Political Banter To Yourself!

There is a receptionist in a doctor's office I call on that is an absolute joy to talk to. Her name is Jenny and you can always count on her being in a cheery mood and giving you a big smile.

Unfortunately, I could tell she was having a difficult day this morning. Her son is serving in Iraq and she hasn't heard from him in almost 2 weeks. Trying to hold herself together, she laughed and joked how "20-year old's never call home."

I could tell that she was just telling herself that to keep from losing it right there in the office. It was one of those moments when I knew I wanted to say something but words were dreadfully failing me.

The opportunity to say something was cut short though by the grand entrance into the office by another woman. Apparently she felt that we were all interested in her because she spoke loudly and made eye-contact with everyone in the room. She announced that she was in a hurry and seeing the Dr wasn't the only thing she had to do today.

Oh, pa-lease!

Jenny kept smiling. I rolled my eyes.

As if she was asked, Mrs. "Time Isn't Standing Still" told us all about how her daughter was about to get married but her son would miss the wedding because he's in the Army.

"I don't understand it! He was an A student in school but decided to join the Army! How stupid is that? Now he's probably going to become cannon-fodder thanks to Mr. Bush's war! All because he wanted to join the Army! It's such a waste!"

At this point I contemplated bouncing my cell phone off her forehead.

Jenny, with a perpetual smile on her face, just winked at me and called off my assault by slightly shaking her head. I reluctantly put my cell phone back in my pocket and resorted to throwing dagger-sharp glares instead.

Who is braver? Those who volunteer to fight in a war or their loved ones who are left behind?

We all have a right to our own opinions about this war. But please keep in mind that there are those among us who face a daily battle between keeping a happy face and collapsing under the weight of fear. So for the sake of those like Jenny, please keep your political banter to yourself . . . especially when you don't know who is listening!

Political Disclaimer: This is not a political blog. Please know that comments laced with political banter about our war will be viewed as having missed the point of this post and will be met with dagger-sharp glares.

VBS Was A-OK!

Before too much more time goes by, I want to take a moment and give props to EDMC and TxMommy for doing such a great job, yet again, on our VBS this past week!

I've always been very proud of our VBS considering the size of Vista Ridge. I know that there are a lot of great programs going on each summer at other congregations - but, thanks to the tireless effort of folks like these, we've always had a great turnout and participation!

I had planned on taking some pictures during VBS to post. But since I spent the entire time either memorizing my script (I was the emcee!) or trying to figure out how to get my nightly science project to work I didn't have much time to click off a few photos.

Instead of an actual photo, try this as a visual: Just imagine me standing in front of 50 some-odd kids trying to draw a parallel between Diet Dr. Pepper cans floating in tub of water, regular Dr. Pepper cans sinking in a tub of water . . . and the story of Peter walking (or sinking) on water.

Confused? That's OK. So were the 50 some-odd kids!

Thanks again, EDMC & TxMommy - I heard so many compliments!

(At least on the everything not having to do with my science projects!)

Wade & Tate's Weekend of Fun!

Yesterday, Kelly hopped on a plane for a much deserved weekend visiting Bert & Paige in Little Rock, Arkansas - so this marks my first significant amount of time alone with the little man!

I'm actually looking forward to our weekend alone (please pray for me!). I'm really not worried (yet!). It should be a lot of fun (did Tate just cough?). This should be great bonding time for us (anyone recommend a good babysitter?).

I'm kidding!

Those who have known of our impending Weekend of Fun have kept asking me what I've got planned. "Oh, a little bit of this - a little bit of that." I've actually been ready to pounce on the first person to refer to my weekend of flying solo as "babysitting".

I'm not one of those Mr. Mom fanatics but it does bother me when people see me with my son and say, "Oh, are you babysitting?"

I'm not the babysitter - I'm the father! It's a sad commentary on our society when people see a father spending time with his son and think of it as only babysitting. It's also demeaning to the hard work Moms have to do day-in, day-out.

So for Day 1, I took a vacation day from work and the little man and I ran a few errands in the morning - during which Tate charmed a salon full of women! What a little flirt he is!

I pulled into Fuddrucker's for lunch because I thought Tate might like their french fries - which would be his first time to eat french fries. No such luck. He just pounded them into mashed potatoes and then tried to eat the napkin instead.

Day 2? If we ask nicely, maybe Grandpa and Mimi will let us come over and swim in their pool!

Did Somebody Lose A Kid?

I'm writing this post as I sit in a hospital lobby - I'm killing time using their free wi-fi while waiting for my lunch appointment.

I've been somewhat entertained by a rambunctious 5-year old boy who is keeping himself busy by stomping on one of those electrical outlets in the floor. It's completely covered so there's little harm he can do to himself; however, he does seem intent on busting up either the floor or his ankle.

Hey, what else are you gonna do in a hospital lobby!

Apparently his dad has had just about enough because he told told his son, "If you stomp on that hard enough it will shock you and kill you!"

OK, I realize that Dad was probably tired of his son trying to jack-hammer himself into the floor. And I realize that electrical outlets are nothing to play with even if they are covered with a metal plate. I also realize that said electrical outlet could render Wonder Boy quite a shock . . .

. . . but is there not a better way to say 'Please stop'?

In the boy's defense, once he realized he was on the brink of his own demise he quietly found something else to do.

But I'm sitting here wondering why parents tell kids little white lies or stretched truths in order to get them to do something.

One wives tales I remember is not to go to bed with wet hair or you'll get pneumonia. What does wet hair have to do with getting pneumonia? I remember thinking how awful it would be to wake up the next morning and suddenly have pneumonia . . .

. . . Uh-oh! While typing this post I just realized that I am apparently in the midst of a conversation with a 10-year old boy sitting next to me. He's showing me his "$168 Nintendo DS" and its "awesome graphics!"

"But my sister dropped it and now the sound doesn't work so good. She always breaks my stuff! Does your computer have any cool games?"

"Yeah, ever heard of Solitaire?"

I'm literally dictating as he is talking to me! I have no idea who this kid is or where he came from . . . but he won't stop talking to me! I hope he doesn't look at my computer screen or else I'm busted! Maybe I can get rid of him by telling him to go stomp on an electrical outlet!

Whoops! I think he just told me a little too much information about his sister's doctor's appointment.

I love kids but why do they feel like they can just come up and start talking? This happens to me all the time! Haven't these kids ever heard the old wives tale of "Don't talk to strangers!"

Aw, look at that! It's lunch time! Sorry, kid - hope your sister gets help with her "girl problems"!

(That's right! He actually told me his sister was here because of her "girl problems!")