Enough Is Enough!

Soft drinks. Fountain drinks. Soda. Pop. Tonic water. Fizzy water. Liquid sugar. Coke.

Whatever you call them, carbonated drinks have been a dietary staple in my life ever since I came off the bottle as a baby!

There was a time when I wouldn't think twice about downing 6 Dr. Peppers during a meal. I used to joke with servers at restaurants to expect a "Dr. Pepper Derby" between my table and the kitchen with the number of refills I'd want.

Last year I tried only drinking caffeine-free drinks like Sprite and IBC Root Beer in order to cut back. Oh pa-lease! Who was I kidding??

But as of today, I have done something that I have never done before as long as I can remember - I have gone 7 days in row of no carbonated drinks of any kind!!!

No Coke. No Sprite. No Root Beer and especially . . . gasp! . . . no Dr. Pepper!

(Oh, sweet nectar of life!)

Go ahead and say it!

"I don't believe it!"

Oh, you better believe it! Nothing but water, iced tea and orange juice for 7 days!

I never had any headaches but my sweet tooth is going nuts! I guess it's trying to figure out where I'm going to make up for those 10 tablespoons of sugar per can I'm now missing out on.

(Blue Bell & Magic Shell, anyone?)

It's a little late for New Year's Resolutions but I figured I'd proclaim to the blogosphere that going forward, Wade's Rantings will be a carbonated drink-free blog.


(Which probably means this blog will now be pretty dull and boring. But hey, health begets happiness, right?)

But enough is enough!

I'll keep you posted on how I'm doing. But if you see a story on the evening news about a thirty-something who went berserk, stripped naked and began chasing Dr. Pepper delivery trucks then know that I totally cracked under the pressure of withdrawal from liquefied glucose and probably never should have attempted this little stunt in the first place!!

So on that note . . . wish me luck!

A Website That Will Describe Your Personality . . . And Then Give You A Complex!

Mutating Missionary posted a link to a website that will describe your personality based upon your name.

Here's what it came up with when I entered Wade:

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts. You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it. You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!

(Hey, I like the sound of this so far!)

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

(Wow! I feel like this website really knows me!)

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

(Eh, not so much!)

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.

(I certainly like to think so!)

People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

(Wait! A moment ago I was authoritative, agressive, stubborn, headstrong and dominant - so which is it?)

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

(Seriously! One minute I'm balanced, orderly and organized and then suddenly I'm flaky and irresponsible? Make up your stinkin' mind you stupid website or, I swear, I'll flood your server with more viruses than a doctor's waiting room . . . . uh . . . er . . . sorry, sometimes the authoritative dictator in me just can't help himself!)

Tate-ism #13

My neck hurts from just looking at this picture!

But, oh, the sweet sound of a sleeping child!

To The Guy Who Sat Next To Me On My Flight To Fort Lauderdale Earlier This Week . . .

For the love of all that is pure and holy . . . STOP FIDGETING!!!

But then again, how could anyone expect you to sit still during a 2-hour flight after you down a Starbuck's venti-double-expresso-white-mocha-latte-frappa-whatchamacallit so fast you're bouncin' off the overhead compartments like a 4th grader who snuck in a Dr. Pepper and 6 powdered donuts for breakfast two days after losing his Ritalin!!!

_________________________________________

By the way, I saw Trent Green (former quarterback for the Miami Dolphins, as of last week!) in the Fort Lauderdale airport but didn't care enough to beat him down with some random conversation just so that I could blog about seeing him.



So instead, I just gave him a knowing nod when we made eye contact as if to say that even though I knew who he was, I wasn't going to bug him about his plans now that he has been unceremoniously released from a football team that went 1-15 this past season.

Because, boy, that would have been really awkward!

What's In A Name?

I’m sure all of us have had our names butchered a time or two by a well-intended, yet completely oblivious, acquaintance.

With a last name like Strzinek, I’m actually impressed if you get it right!

But how hard is it to mess up Wade? I’ve heard Wayne, Dwayne and even Ray – those are somewhat understandable, yet still unacceptable, variations of my name.

But today I got to add a new mis-name to the list. And what is just as funny as the name itself was the total look of surprise by the other person when I didn’t immediately respond.

But why in the world would I respond to the question, “So how was your weekend, Westin?”

Westin? Who’s Westin? Are you talking to me?

She acted as if I was purposely ignoring her! Oh, sorry! But I usually don’t answer to names that aren't mine!

What makes it worse is that I have been handing my business card to this woman every 2 weeks for the past year!

Good to know that I’m appreciated!

I think from now on I'm gonna start calling her Maude!

(No offense to any Maude's out there!)

"You Can't Be Best Friends With Girls - They're Nuts!"

Now that I've offended the majority of those who read my blog, let me explain . . .

I was listening to a certain local sports radio station when the topic of whether or not you can be married to your best friend came up.

(Yeah, I realize that's not really a sports topic but it's pretty typical of this radio station to delve off into non-sportsy discussions when there's a sports lull.)

Anyway, the logic here was that no guy can be best friends with his wife because, as they delicately put it, "they're nuts". So instead, the husband will just let his wife believe that they are best friends in order to maintain marital bliss and household harmony.

It made me laugh not because I believe the statement to be true but rather because it was said with such authority despite the lack of supporting evidence. I should probably say that supporting evidence probably does exist, though none was presented in this highly refined debate.

Man, I wish I had a job where I could get away with making baseless, generalized statements all day!

(Side Rant: It's no wonder why we can't get anything done in this country when Congress spends our tax dollars talking about steriods in baseball when instead it should be talking about the war, the economy or some other topic of national and/or global importance.

To make matters worse, instead of talking about steriods in baseball, the local sports radio is talking about anything but!)

Googling Love In All The Wrong Places!

Random Google Search Results
Valentine's Day Edition

These search results pulled up my blog because of a post I wrote a couple years ago titled 20 Random Things I Love About My Wife.

Apparently Men everywhere are scrambling to come up with a list of things they love about the women in their lives because I've gotten no less than 15 hits this week alone from some variation of the searches below:

1. "list of things I love about my wife"

2. "10 things I love about my wife"

3. "50 things I love about my wife" - Sounds like that dude is in the dog house!

4. "things I love about my wife girlfriend" - Sounds like that dude is about to be in the dog house!
Just a couple comments to the guys who may consider copying my list . . .

1. Before you copy my list, ask yourself 2 questions, "Does my wife read this blog?" and "Is my wife friends with Wade's wife?". If you answered yes to either question but still copy my list and give it to your wife then this may be the last Valentine's Day you'll need to worry about for a while!

Want some advice? Don't ask Google to give you reasons why you love your wife! That's stuff you should already know!

2. Check the date of my list - that would be July! Don't wait until the day before Valentine's to tell your wife that you love her!

Alright, that's probably all the marital counseling I'm qualified to offer!