"So What Do You Do?"

It's official . . . I can't stand that question any more.

Let me take a moment to tell you why . . .

(Oh, boy! Here he goes again!)

The majority of time, people use that question not so they can learn something new and interesting about another person . . . but instead, people use it so they can know how they should compare themselves to another person.

Case in point: I recently found myself in one of those awkwardly cordial conversations you have with another parent while your two kids clammer over each other at the neighborhood park.

Within the first 30 seconds of said conversation, this other guy throws out, "So what do you do?" And he said it with such a tone that I didn't want to answer him. Because regardless of my job, I knew he would slap some label on my forehead as soon as I told him what I did for a living.

"I make more than him." "He makes more than me." "I'm more important than him." "He's more important than me."

Of all the questions you can ask another guy at the park - How old is your son? What's your son's name? Is he your only child? - the first thing this guy wants to know about me is what I do for a living.

And it's almost insulting to ask someone that question after just meeting them because you're making the assumption that they use their job to define what kind of person they are.

The fact is, maybe only 2% of people have that perfect job that perfectly describes the kind of person they are. While the rest of us may very well have good jobs, we don't define ourselves primarily by what we do for a living - at least, we're not supposed to!

And there are such better questions to ask when you meet someone for the first time - What do you do when you're not working? Where did you grow up? Where did you go to school? Even just the socially awkward phrase, "So . . . uh . . . crazy weather lately, huh?" is a better conversation starter than "What do you do?"

All that being said, I hereby delete that question from my vernacular - I promise never to ask someone what they do for a living.

If it comes up in causal conversation, great! If they want to tell me what they do from 9-5 Monday through Friday, great! But I will never ask the question, "What do you do?" Instead, I'll just have to get creative and find another (and better!) question to ask.

Becasue of all the first impressions I could give someone, the last one I want to give is one of me trying to figure out how I should compare myself to them.

And if anyone should ever ask me what I do for a living, I think I'll answer by saying in all seriousness, "I'm the President of the United States."

. . . . . . . . . . . (awkward silence) . . . . . . . . . .

So . . . . . uh . . . . . crazy weather lately, huh?

__________________________________________________

PS: Other questions that have met my disapproving glare are:

"Ya' know?"

"Huh?" - Also pronouced as "Whaaaaaa?"

"How ya' been?" - Because no one ever really wants to know how you have been.

"Would you like french fries or apple pie with that?" - If I wanted french fries or apple pie, I would have ordered it!