Monday, February 07, 2011

Don't be Snow Stupid!

I realize that throughout my own existence I will have plenty of opportunities to personally contribute towards the overall stupidity of humanity. Have said that . . .

I would like to blatantly ignore the minuscule speck in my own eye while calling everyone's attention to the massive 2x4 sticking out of the eye of so many who attempted to drive on sheer ice last week. 

Recent extensive research (also known as my casual observation) has revealed that freezing temperatures and icy road conditions causes people to turn stupid (of course that's a technical term!)

Most people under normal circumstances would admit that driving on icy roads can be treacherous and should only be attempted by experienced drivers and when leaving the home is absolutely necessary. We can easily agree with that statement as being true and logical, right?

What is amazing however is how quickly said-logic evaporates as soon as the proverbial you-know-what freezes over - resulting in general stupidity and knuckle-headedness to take hold of otherwise bright witted individuals. 

Based upon what I observed during my, ahem!, extensive research, I can only assume that the following inner-monologue could have been heard inside the cars of several soon-to-be-stranded motorists:

"Dum dee dum, this driving on ice thing seems pretty easy so I'm just gonna speed up to excessive and dangerous speeds. 

Oh, look at this!  Someone just texted me a hilarious photo of their kid playing in the snow - I'm now going to focus all of my attention on my smart phone and forward this to . . . 

WHAT'S HAPPENING??!!  Sweet Mother of Frozen Precipitation, I've lost all control of my car!!!  I'm spinning in circles in the middle of a busy intersection!!!  

How is this even possible??!!  Oh laws of physics, why have you forsaken me??!!  Surely this has never happened before in the history of modern transportation!! "

Light pole + Mr. Knucklehead = D'oh!

So let this be a word of caution to all of you as we receive news of even more snow in our forecast . . . don't get snow stupid!

1 comment:

Keri said...

The grumpy old man is back!! Surely Lamebook (my term of endearment for FB) isn't more entertaining than your dear blog. Missed your postings Wade.