Kelly-ism #18

In an effort to avoid any confusion, let me clearly restate that I am a guy. And because of this fact, it should be well understood that I have no working knowledge of women’s fashion. You would think that after nearly 10 years of marriage my sweet, loving wife would know this already. However she recently walked into the room wearing a new pair of black shoes for her black dress and asked:

“Do these shoes go with this dress?”

(Side note: Kelly already has some 20 pairs of black shoes in her closet – all of which would perfectly match a black dress.)

Here’s what the typical guy thinks in his head before answering this question:

“WHAT???? She bought another pair of black shoes???? Uh-oh! She’s looking – quick, come up with something to say. Black shoes. Black dress. Black equals black. So . . . . . yes, those shoes go with that dress.”

When I told Kelly that her black shoes did indeed match her black dress (just like all the other black shoes in her closet), she began explaining something about “open toe” versus “closed toe” and my brain immediately began to hurt.

But before I had a chance to go lie down, Kelly returned to proudly present a new purse she had bought by saying:

“Also, I had to get this new purse so I wouldn’t have to get a new dress.”

Let me make sure I understand this right . . . she bought a new purse so she wouldn’t have to buy a new dress . . . . ???

I just stood there completely speechless and defeated by the realization that I don’t understand women’s fashion (or women’s logic) one iota! 

But having said that – if I were to apply Kelly’s fashion logic to myself, I should then be able to buy myself a new pair of Sidi Genius 6.6 Carbon cycling shoes so that I don’t have to buy myself a new bike!


Hey, I think I like women’s fashion after all!