I can't say that I've never lied, but lying is just not part of my makeup. In fact, in the few times in the past when I've tried to lie, I wasn't very good at it - so why bother, right?
The truth is, I didn't take any dishonest intentions with me to the concessions counter before last night's movie - all I wanted was another popcorn bag. I would have even paid a buck for it if they had asked.
When Brad (my brother-in-law) and I sat down in the theatre last night to see GI Joe, he was nice enough to offer to share his huge tub-o-popcorn with me. To avoid appearing as the ambiguously (ahem!) duo by eating from the same bag of popcorn as well as avoiding that akward moment when our hands accidentally touch as we reach for more popcorn at the same time, I decided it would be better to go back to the concessions counter to get an extra popcorn bag of my own.
Me: "Excuse me, can I get another popcorn bag?"
Teen-aged purveyor of popcorn: "What happened to your first bag?"
(He surprised me with having a tone and giving me a look of suspect - I didn't know what to say)
Me: "Uh . . . it kinda ripped."
(It just popped out. I don't know why I said it - it wasn't true. But it felt easier to say than that I just wanted another bag so I could have some of my brother-in-law's popcorn.)
Teenager: "Oh no! Did you lose all your popcorn?"
(His skepticism quickly turned to concern.)
Me: "No, not really . . . I just don't wanna . . . you know?"
(Actually I don't know - that made absolutely no sense what so ever. This is my lying curse - I'm terrible at it!)
Teenager: "Well let me get you some more!"
(He grabbed a bag and began filling it with popcorn.)
Me: "Oh, uh . . . you don't have to . . . "
Teenager: "You want butter on this?"
Me: "Uh, . . . sure!"
(At this point, the guardian angel that stands on my shoulder is smacking up side my head with his halo.)
Teenager: [With a big smile] "Here you go - don't tear this one!"
Me: [With a failed smile] "Right . . . thanks!"
Never before have I felt like such a jerk for lying - but not so much that I couldn't enjoy the popcorn!
2 comments:
Wade, I love the way you tell your stories! I was laughing as hard reading it on the blog as I did in person. I'm just glad you didn't try to share Brad's drink too:)
Wade--I didn't think you had it in you! Learn something new everyday.
Aunt B
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