A Couple of Thoughts About Our Cruise

If there are two things that defy logic they are airplanes that somehow fly across the sky and ships that somehow sail over the seas . . . even though both are made from metal by man.

Despite having utilized both modes of transportation last week, I am still no closer to an understanding of how man has figured out how to thumb his proverbial nose at the laws of physics.

(Aviation and nautical engineers need not try to explain! I have neither the intelligence nor the motivation to comprehend what you'd be babbling on about!)

But what does it matter anyway?

The fact that the film Titanic is the only film to gross over $1 Billion (that's a million but with a B) while at the same time the cruise industry is capable of generating over $50 Billion annually in economic output means that humans lack the ability to “watch and learn.”

So it occurred to me as I was soaking up the sun next to the salt water pool on Deck 10 that humans are just like the wildebeests in Africa who can watch fellow herd members be dragged underwater by giant crocodiles but still fight each other to be the first to cross the river as if they are being lulled across the water by some unseen beautiful wildebeestress!

(I think Celine Dion played the role of the unseen beautiful singing wildebeestress in Titanic – look for her in the Director’s Cut)

You may never figure out how a chunk of metal as big as a cruise ship doesn't sink all the way down to Davy Jones Locker but if you can survive a week at sea without drowning, getting sunburned or embarrassing your entire family by getting drunk and dancing over-enthusiastically in the Congo line then you’ll win a free pass to the front of the ship where you'll get to step up on the rail and scream, “I’m the king of the world!”

Which, by the way, is something that I did not do because, let’s face it, that would be really silly and would embarrass my family far greater than any drunken dancing debauchery.

But be rest assured that I didn't spend the entire week contemplating only the laws of physics and my impending doom - mostly because I knew that giant ship-sinking ice bergs weren't common in the warm waters of the Caribbean.

The post below however is a list of grand revelations that only worsened the brain freeze I got from slurping down not-so-virgin strawberry dacaries and all-you-can-eat bowls of chocolate ice cream!

Enjoy!