In the midst of last week's insanity, there actually was something you'll find pretty funny that happened on my flight back to Fort Worth.
Catching a 6 AM flight meant that I had to wake up at 3 AM in order to get to the airport on time. And since I didn't fall asleep in my hotel room until around 12:45 AM because I was so worried about Tate, it's fair to say that I was traveling in a sleep deprived stooper.
But if there's is one good thing about flying at the crack at dawn is that most flights that early have a few open seats up in First Class. Hoping to get a little more leg room for sleeping, I threw down my AAdvantage Gold Member card and gave the lady at the check-in counter my best pathetic puppy dog eyes look!
Score! Maybe there really is some good left in the Evil Empire after all!
With my extra cushy First Class seat leaning back in ultra-recline, I put Mozart's Requiem on auto-repeat on my iPod and slept nearly the entire 3.5 hour flight home.
I could tell when I woke up that we were descending and so I jumped into the lavatory (which was just ahead of my seat) to put in my contacts but as soon as I did, someone started banging on the door!
Immediately annoyed at whoever couldn't wait a whole stinkin' 2 minutes for me to mess with my contacts, I cracked open the door only to find an irate flight attendant instead!
"SIR! THE LANDING GEAR IS DOWN AND WE ARE ABOUT TO LAND! RETURN TO YOUR SEAT IMMEDIATELY AND FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELT!!!!"
Apparently in my dazed-and-confused-sleep-deprived stooper, I had failed to notice when I woke up that we were, in fact, literally about to land!
Had you been there, you may have been impressed with how I was able to exit the lavatory, get in my seat and fasten my seat belt . . . all in one motion!
I spent the remaining 3 minutes of our flight starring out my window and acting like I didn't notice the glare I had caught from the guy sitting next to me!
(Hey pal, mind your own business!)
I bet that flight attendant had flashbacks to her security training videos when saw me hop out of my seat and start toward the front of the plane so quickly! One more step closer to the cockpit and I probably would have been tasered by two trigger-happy, undercover air marshalls!
But in my defense, wasn't the flight attendant supposed to wake me up to tell me to turn off my iPod and return my seat to its full upright position?
Oh, well! It's not exactly the A List most people hope for but at least now maybe I won't have to show my ID to the FAA all the time when I travel - they'll already know who I am!
5 comments:
Only you Wade, only you!
mozart's Requiem is one of my faves. I play it whenever I drive long distances on logging roads. Seems fitting somehow.
Now you need to use some watch words in your blog. They'll totally be on to you.
But you are fortunate as it seems every time I fly I get strip searched by some overweight dude with a beard and an attitude.
I should stop shaving my head.
Lack of sleep plus worry equals massive disorientation! I'm just glad you didn't head for the cockpit by mistake!
(And I'm really glad you made it home to Tate and Kelly as quickly as you did!)
Yet another giggling 5 minutes in front of my computer thanks to Wade :-D
Thanks for answering my question "What the heck are people thinking when doing ..... (fill in whatever you like) at the plane?"
I am still speechless that one day right during the start (I mean this is really hard to miss, right?) a lady jumped up and opened the head rack to rumble through all the bags up there, because she needed something NOW.
I had no idea that flight staff can get THAT furious.
But my favorite so far is the flight attendant that I had some weeks ago. Our flight was about 40 min delayed and she managed get so confused that she told us (after landing):
"We are sorry that you travelled our airline and hope you enjoyed the delay nevertheless."
Her colleague nearly died of laughter right behind me. I guess this created another legend in aero business.
Write a formal apology and then publish it on the blog.:)
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