It took me while to come up with 7 things most people don't already know. I may have to throw out some really weird, dark stuff that quite frankly might scare the begeebers out of the blogosphere!
But, for Kelly's sake, I promise to keep it within a PG-13 rating!
Here we go:
1. I don't hunt. Not that I'm apposed to hunting, I just can't ever pull the trigger on anything because I start having "Bambi" flashbacks.
You remember the scene where Bambi's mom gets whacked by a trigger-happy, NRA-lovin', red-blooded American leaving Bambi to grow up in a single-parent home with a reluctant and confusing father?
Yeah, that scene is pretty much on auto-replay every time I line up any living creature in my sights!
(I bet you didn't realize Walt Disney movies had such complicated plots, did you?)
2. The "little life irritation" that has gotten the best of me lately has been when waiters/waitresses say, "Careful! Hot plate!", and then place it down right in front of Tate!
I was a waiter, too, once upon a time! And I can attest that the concept of not placing anything in front of a toddler is a quite simple one to grasp . . . at least for some people!
3. How is it that every year at about this time there are gorgeous wild flowers along the side of the highway yet there are ugly weeds in my flower beds?!?
The random factoid about me is that I actually enjoy mowing and edging my yard but it's the planting of flowers that will eventually be over run by weeds that makes me want to smack Adam and Eve around for eating that stinkin' apple - but I digress since I've already stood on that soap box!
4. I love when I get to go a long time without shaving - like leading up to the Cal bowl game during New Year's break in this past January. It's not that I really like the "scruffy" look (though Kelly thinks it's crazy sexy!), it's just that I hate shaving!
And I don't want to hear it from those of you of the female persuasion who think you've got it worse! Shaving your legs and arm pits is NOTHING like scraping a blade over half your face and neck every morning!
And when you think about it, men taunt death every time we shave because there are far more vital arteries around the face then there are in the arm pit!
Let's see you nick your carotid artery and then have to scramble around to see how many tiny pieces of toilet paper it takes to plug up that bad boy before passing out from a loss of blood!
5. None of my pants fit me now that I've stopped drinking carbonated drinks.
I won't go into much detail here since Kelly seems to be a little bitter about the fact that I've lost weight simply by cutting out cokes. I guess she thinks I should have to go on some ultra-regimented detox diet before I'm allowed to shed a few lbs!
I keep telling her that I will gladly increase my intake of Blue Bell & Magic Shell if it makes her feel better!
6.If someone asks me if I play golf I'll tell them ""Heck No!" despite that fact that I practically grew up on a golf course and played on my high school team.
Having said that, I'll gladly accept anytime my dad offers to pay my green's fee at Teeth of the Dog Golf Course in the Dominican Republic - considered one of the Top 40 courses in the world.
(Side note #1: This golf course is appropriately named!)
(Side note #2: Wearing black shoes with shorts when your legs haven't seen the light of day all spring will make them look even more white and pasty than they already are!)
7.Here's one of my favorite things to do with Tate.
Thanks for the tag, Keri!
I wonder what Audra and Helen will write!
7 comments:
Go Bears!!
Oskie
Having said that, I'll gladly accept anytime my dad offers to pay my green's fee at Teeth of the Dog Golf Course in the Dominican Republic - considered one of the Top 40 courses in the world.
I do not golf, but that looks like a very nice place.
as for the "careful... hot plate!"
how about the wait staff that seats you at the table, and then hands the 6-month-old in the high chair a package of crayons!?!
am i crazy? does this annoy anyone else? those things go straight into his mouth, waxing up his tiny little teeth, and then he protests with screams when i have to steal them away. my kid can barely put a cheerio in his mouth, but they think he can draw?
i wish!
Hey Oskie,
Grrraa!
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Hey Russ,
I have to say, some of the prettiest views I've ever seen have been on a golf course. But then again, the times I have been the most infuriated have been on a golf course, too!
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Hey RTurkey,
Long time, no comment! Great to hear from you again!
YES! The kid barely has the hand-eye coordination to hold his own bottle and they give him crayons?!?!?
I try giving most people the benefit of the doubt - maybe some of this stuff isn't so obvious when you're in your early 20's with no kids . . . but then again, some of the people who have breached this ettiquette have been those who obviously should have known better!
Thanks for stopping by,
W
Seriously hate when waiters put hot plates, basket of bread, drinks, knives, etc...directly in front of my children. Really? It seems like a good idea to put a full glass of ice tea in front of an 11 month old?
Seriously hate when waiters put hot plates, basket of bread, drinks, knives, etc...directly in front of my children. Really? It seems like a good idea to put a full glass of ice tea in front of an 11 month old?
Hey L,
Yeah, one of these days I'm gonna just sit there and let Tate spill the full glass of tea and then look at the waiter and say, "So you really didn't see that coming?"
W
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