Intermission

Kelly-ism #14

I've mentioned before how one of Kelly's favorite things to do is to use nice stationary to send people notes in the mail. I'm beginning to realize that it's probably more than just one her favorite things to do . . .

Tonight I caught Kelly admiring her new batch of stationary by saying, "These cards make me so happy!"


I'm a little scared to ask Kelly where I'd rank compared to her cards!

(Note to self: Price out personalized stationary as a Christmas gift . . . )

I'm Sure His Mama Is A Proud Woman!

I caught up with this lovely ride on the way to Mineral Wells today.

Yes, those are horns on his helmet.

Yes, he's wearing a knee brace and flip flops.

Yes, I think he should consider increasing his medication.

I Know, I Know . . . Only Me!

Initially I decided to keep this little nugget to myself. But who am I to deprive you of yet another episode of "Wade's Anatomy!"

I woke up this morning and immediately noticed that I had a lot of ear wax in my ears. Since I wear a hearing aid, I'm pretty particular about keeping my ears clean - a clean ear means a clean hearing aid!

(Some of you will know what I mean sooner or later!)

Anyway, I grabbed a Q-Tip and began cleaning my ears. Unfortunately, the problem presented itself when the Q came off the Tip and got lodged down in my ear. Way down in my ear! Way down in my one good ear!

No sweat! Just grab a pair of tweezers and pull it out, right? One little problem - no tweezers!

Apparently I didn't realize how noisy I was being by digging around in our bathroom looking for a pair of tweezers because I woke up Kelly and she wanted to know what the commotion was all about - it didn't help that I didn't hear her the first two times she asked!

When I told her what I had done all I could hear through the 100% cotton swab was a muffled, "Wade Strzinek!" - which gave me the impression that she wouldn't be getting out of bed to help!

So at 6:30 AM, I left the house to go to the grocery store to purchase 1 pair of tweezers - $5.49 plus tax.

As my luck would have it, I got stuck behind some lady in the check-out lane buying, no joke, 10 boxes of cereal. For some reason 10 weren't enough because she kept going back for more! A little hungry this morning?

After her 2nd trip back she turned and said something to me but having absolutely no clue what she said I could only assume she was apologizing profusely for delaying my reunion with sound . . . so I just gave her failed-smile and said in a voice loud enough for even me to hear, "No problem! Take your time!"

So once Ms. "I'm Starting A Fiber Only Diet!" had finally checked out it took me all of 30 seconds to pay for my tweezers and pull out the cotton swab as I walked out the door!

Oh sweet sound!

So the moral of this story is if you use a Q-Tip to clean your ears first make sure you have tweezers. Because if your Q-Tip gets lodged in your ear and you don't have tweezers then you'll have to go to the grocery store at the crack of dawn!

And that's a terrible way to start a Monday!

Why Does This Stuff Happen To Me?

Today is my 32nd birthday. Unfortunately, it's one I'll never forget.

It started out great with 45-mile bike ride in the morning - although I nearly died of heat stroke towards the end.

I actually remember telling myself during the ride to be extra careful because it would really stink to have an accident and have to spend my birthday in the ER.

(In High School, we referred to this as foreshadowing)

With family coming over later for dinner I made my way into the kitchen in the afternoon to start cutting the husks off of my world famous grilled corn on the cob. Suddenly I noticed that I wasn't cutting corn husks - I was cutting my finger!

Blankity-blank-bleepin'-blank!

Kelly and I did all that we could to stop the bleeding but we soon realized I would need stitches! And on my birthday no less!!

So with company due at 6:30, dinner for 11 nowhere near ready, the house a mess, Tate about to wake up and needing to be fed and neither of us dressed for the evening, I left at 5:00 for the urgent care clinic.

I have to hand it to Kelly. If I were her I would probably just said 'the heck with it' and ordered pizza! But somehow she was able to get everything ready in time all by herself. I wonder if that has anything to do with her being passed out on the couch right now.

As for me, I got to go pay $35 to have 5 sutures implanted in my finger. When it looked like I wasn't going to get out of there anytime soon I started to fake fainting due to a loss of blood. I guess I'm not a very good actor because it still took 2 hours to get in and out.

Dinner back at home went great and my family was super-sympathetic. And now I have to say that the only thing that really hurts at the moment is realization that those stinkin' Dallas Cowboys have some type of dang mental block when it comes to playing the Houston Texans! Those stinkin' Cowboys!

Maybe for my birthday next year Kelly will buy me a book on self-preservation. That is, of course, if I make it to my next birthday!

A Message To Anyone Who Likes To Fwd: Emails

Thanks to TxMommy for forwarding me this hilarious link regarding all those people, and you know who you are, who like to forward us those junk emails that make us go bezerk!

Click here!

There's A Sucker Born Every Minute!

I recently received this forwarded email from a friend who, for obvious reasons, shall remain nameless:

"THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USA TODAY - IT IS FOR REAL!

To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, But this is from my friend who is an attorney. If she says that this will work - it will work. After all, what have you got to lose?

SORRY EVERYBODY . . . JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago.

Dear friends, please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates is sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, you will repent later.

Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.

When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.

For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.

Thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and within days, I received a check for $24,800.00 . You need to respond before the beta testing is over. If anyone can afford this, Bill Gates is the man.

It's all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.

We're not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time. My brother's girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When I went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game, she showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4, 324.44 and is stamped "Paid In Full". "

It took me all of 15 seconds to go to Snopes.com and find that this exact letter has been floating around the email world since 1997!

Don't go spending that money just yet, buddy!

What's funny is that I received this same email yet again from someone else while writing this post!

Now let's all say it together: If it's too good to be true . . . . .

A Difficult Decision

Kelly and I may have just made one of the most difficult decisions so far in our married lives.

After 8 wonderful years at Vista Ridge Church of Christ, we have decided that it is time to find a new church home.

We have made this decision based upon the fact that the 30-minute drive from Roanoke to Lewisville has taken its toll. Kelly and I didn't seem to notice it at all when it was just the two of us. But spending 2 hours (including our drive to Irving Sunday night for our small group) in the car every Sunday wipes Tate out - and us as well.

When we moved from Irving to Roanoke 4 years ago we never once considered leaving because of the relationships we had at VRCC. It may sound like a cliche, but they really are our extended family and have been there for us through so many ups and downs in the last 8 years.

But we've come to realize that to be as involved as we want to be will require finding a church home in our own area. This decision was not made because of a disagreement with leadership, a scriptural reservation or anything of that nature. It's simply a matter of needing to be near to those with whom we worship.

For those of you who don't know Vista Ridge, it's really a great place. Walk in the door and you'll soon feel at home. I've never known a more accepting and loving group of people. When Kelly and I were looking for our first church home soon after we married it didn't take long for us to realize that God had prepared a special place for us at VRCC - and I thank God He did.

Kelly and I do not know where we'll end up. We won't begin our search for a new church home for another couple weeks. But in the meantime, I'm praying that God will do just as he did before. Lead us directly to a church family that will lead us closer to Him.
______________________________________________

To Our Friends at Vista Ridge Church of Christ,

How on earth do we say good-bye? All I know to say is thank you.

Thank you for all your kind words yesterday. Thank you for accepting Kelly and I for who we are. Thank you giving us a place to worship our Lord. Thank you for allowing us to serve Him joyfully. Thank you for leading us into deeper waters in our relationships with Christ.

It is my hope and prayer that every Christian shall experience the love of a church family like the one found at Vista Ridge.

May The Lord bless and keep you,

W

QOTW: It's The Weatherman's Fault!

So I'm minding my own business and enjoying our lovely atypical Texas summer weather of 80-degrees/80%-chance-of-flooding-of-biblical-proportions when all of a sudden what's-his-face weatherman on Channel 8 (not Delkus but the other guy) chirps off, "Folks, there's a good chance we won't see triple-digit temperatures this entire summer!"

(Kelly had to cover Tate's ears as I chirped off at what's-his-face for jinxing us!)

And wouldn't you know it? No sooner than when he said that - Bam! 104 degrees and suddenly my once beautiful green lawn turns up a dead brown!

It's a good thing Channel 8 is the only news in town that broadcasts in HD or else I would switch to Channel 5 faster than you can fry an egg on a hot Texas sidewalk!

(Hey, HD in triple-digit weather is still HD!)
________________________________________________

"Do you prefer 80-degree weather with 100% chance of rain or no rain with triple digit heat?"

Total votes: 24

I'm singin' in the rain! 63% (15 votes)

The heat is on! 38% (9 votes)

Those Are Fightin' Words!

I guess I'm stealing a bit from EDMC, but I gotta share this one . . .

We all know that SiteMeter will show which internet searches pulled up your blog.

Recently, I noticed that someone stopped by my blog after googling "old men who wear their pants too high".

Does anyone know how to file a complaint with Google?

Brian's Tribute To Charles Trevathan

Some of you know my great friend and college roommate, Brian.

I want to direct you to his new blog that he has started in honor of Charles Trevathan.

I won't steal any of Brian's thunder other than to say what Brian is doing is a great way to honor a friend and mentor.

Please stop by and share with Brian some of your favorite ACU stories of Charles. And, if you're a golfer, tee it up in his tourny!

Britney Spears' Defensive Driving School Worked For Us!

Tate and I decided to spend some quality time together and took a class at Britney Spears' Defensive Driving School.


This is us hiding from the paparazzi by sitting in a Starbucks parking lot.

However, soon after this picture was taken I had a nervous break-down, shaved my head, got a tattoo, and admitted myself into a $30,000-a-day rehab center but then promptly checked out once I realized it cost $30,000 a day.

The worst of it all is that I keep getting messages on my cell phone from Kevin Federline!

That guy creeps me out!

QOTW: Keep On Truckin'

OK, so this is how you do it:

1. Before entering the truck stop restroom, take a deep breath of fresh air.

2. Enter restroom with only one eye open. This way you'll still have at least one good eye if the vapors cause instant ocular damage.

3. Use your foot to open stall door. Don't worry about locking it the door, you're not going to be that long.

4. Do your thing.

(Are you still holding your breath?)

5. If neccessary, distract yourself by reading the chicken-scratch on the walls. But beware, this isn't exactly the New York Times Best Sellers List you're reading here.

6. When you're done, use your foot to flush.

7. Wash your hands before you leave, for pete's sake!

(Now that you're outside the restroom you can exhale!)

8. Upon exiting said-truck stop, burn your shoes for they are now considered unholy!

9. Make a mental note to fly next time!
_________________________________________________________

"Which do you most dread about a road trip?"

Total votes: 24

Smelly road kill: 0% (0 votes)

The back seat: 4% (1 vote)

Motion sickness: 16% (4 votes)

The truck stop restroom: 45% (11 votes)

The tail-gater: 16% (4 votes)

"Are we there yet?": 16% (4 votes)

To The Guy Driving The Yellow Penske 18-Wheeler On Hwy 377 in Stephenville Today . . .

1. Whatever I did, I'm really sorry!

2. But could it have been any worse than flipping someone off with both hands while driving a big rig?

3. Did Penske train you how to steer while giving someone the double-bird or it that something you just learn from experience?

4. By the way, I happened to notice the 1-800 number on the back of your trailer as you flew by me!

5. Have a nice day!

756*

asterisk - a small star-like symbol (*), used in writing and printing as a reference mark or to indicate omission, doubtful matter, etc.

I'm one of those guys who's willing to give the benefit of the doubt. I freely give trust until there is reason to do otherwise. I'm unassuming and, therefore, probably a bit naive.

I'm not going to judge Barry Bonds and his history making 756th home run tonight against the Washington Nationals. But I know that his pursuit of one of sports most hallowed records has turned him into an angry and bitter man.

If he has nothing to hide, then why has Bonds become so angry?


It doesn't matter if Bonds is ever found guilty of knowingly taking performance-enhancing drugs. A cloud of doubt hangs over him and that's enough in itself.

Even in my own industry I have watched and learned that winning at all cost is not really winning at all - it's merely wagering against your own integrity.

If you get away with it, then you "win" - provided that your own guilty conscience doesn't turn you into a disheartened and empty soul. But if you don't get away with it, you lose so much more than just home run records. The worst being that doubt forever follows your name, as does an asterisk.

There's plenty of glory and praise out there to be had if you're willing to pay the price. But true glory, the kind that fills a man's heart and soul, can only be found by doing whatever it takes to do whatever is right so that there is never a shadow of doubt.

QOTW: All Hail, The Trapper Keeper!

It's safe to say that, as a Ritalin-deprived hyperactive Grade School kid, I was a little unorganized when it came to those minor school-related details such as homework, tests, projects, summer reading assignments, yada, yada, yada.

My lack of preparedness got so bad that one day my Mom picked me up after school and told me she was taking me to the store to get a Trapper Keeper.



Honestly, my first thought was, "Cool! I hope they have one with Transformers on it!"

(No such luck! The store was out of ones with Transformers on them and my mom wasn't about to embark on a cross-town scavenger hunt looking for one that did!)

I remember how amazed I was at how quickly my grades improved once I started using my generic looking Trapper Keeper. It was a great discovery to find that I was actually pretty good at homework when I actually did it! And now that I had something to remind me to study, tests didn't seem nearly as hard either!

(This was one of the first "A-ha!" moments for Little Wade!)

After Grade School, I went on to make plenty of Honor Rolls and Dean's Lists so I guess I have the Trapper Keeper to thank for my educational salvation.

It makes me wonder how much more I could have accomplished as an eager young mind had I had a Trapper Keeper and a healthy daily dose of Ritalin!

Would love to hear your favorite Trapper Keeper story if you got one!
_______________________________________________

"Which was your favorite 'back to school' supply?"

Total votes: 24

Trapper Keeper: 45% (11 votes)

Superhero Lunch Box: 8% (2 votes)

Giant eraser: 0% (0 votes)

Big Chief writing pad: 8% (2 votes)

New box of Crayola crayons: 25% (6 votes)

Box of Kleenex for your home room: 0% (0 votes)

Back pack: 4% (1 vote)

Mechanical pencil: 12% (3 votes)