Now let's first take a moment to marvel at Kelly's lovely yuletide decorating. Note the fiber-optic snowman in the corner that turns a bit psychedelic after you get loaded up on Dr. Pepper . . . .
. . . . ok, continuing on now!
Let me re-issue the Pro's & Con's of real and artificial Christmas trees.
1. Drive to a tree lot, fight for a parking space, lay claim to the most non-odd looking tree on the lot, haggle over the price of said-non-odd-looking-tree with some guy who has a Marlboro hanging out of the corner of his mouth, strap said-oddity to the roof of your car, admire the affinity between tree sap and the roof of your car, and drive home at a snail's pace so the wind doesn't strip all the needles off of your over-priced freak of nature.
Con!
2. Bring artificial Christmas tree down from your attic.
Pro!
3. Finally finish 2 hours of stringing lights, hanging ornaments and balancing a tree topper only to have your wife come in and say in a very unimpressed tone, "It's still leaning too far to the right!"
Con!
4. Spend only 45 minutes propping artificial tree perfectly straight up in stand, plugging in pre-hung lights, hanging ornaments and a tree topper.
Pro!
5. Notice your real tree going up in flames because it caught fire from the Christmas lights after you forgot to keep it watered!
Con!
6. Watch your neighbor haul his charred Christmas tree to the curb because it nearly burnt his entire house down . . . while reminding yourself that your artificial tree is fire-retardant.
Pro!
7. Once Christmas is over, pay a $250 ticket because you got caught dumping your real tree in a ditch on the side of highway!
Con!
8. Spend all of 30 minutes after Christmas taking down your artificial tree and putting it back in the attic.
Pro!
I guess that settles it! Get an artificial tree!_____________________________________________
"A real Christmas tree or an artificial Christmas tree?"
Total votes: 16
Nothing beats the smell of a real Christmas tree!: 25% (4 votes)
Artificial! Trees lots are a scam!: 75% (12 votes)
3 comments:
There is another way. Live in the wilderness. Drive 3 miles, walk into the bush and take your pick. They are plentiful. Just keep it small. Cut it down. No price, no haggling. Go home and have hot chocolate with the family. When it's all over, just put it outside, let it dry out and it makes great firewood... if a little smelly.
Loved your pros/cons--very comical!
And pretty tree!
Hey Lawn,
Ah, you speak of some far off magical land that actually has trees! (Bragger!)
There's not much around here that inspires you to decorate for Christmas, including our big oaks!
As for firewood, you will probably think less of me if I told you that I started a fire the other night using a synthetic log I bought in a grocery store.
I know, please pray for me!
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Thanks A!
W
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