Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Shocking Confession #4 . . . but not really!

Apparently I snore.

Kelly keeps accusing me of ripping the house apart at night with my King Kong sleep apnea - which is a gross exaggeration that I have been reluctant to believe.

It's not that I don't believe I snore - it's just that there's no way I snore as bad as she describes.

So to prove her case, Kelly presented the following evidence . . . and did so with the same enthusiasm as if she had just discovered the second shooter on the grassy knoll.



My verdict: Evidence is non-conclusive!

First, how do I know it's even me? For all I know, Kelly was playing around with the camera before she went to bed and accidentally set the timer to record herself!

Second, the charge is 'insomnia caused by excessive spousal nocturnal breathing'. C'mon! Anybody can sleep through that . . . even me! That's not snoring! Heck, some people might find that rhythmically soothing!

I rule that no further action be taken due to my "snoring" will soon be trumped by a hungry, wet, screaming baby! And when that happens, Kelly will refer to my snoring as golden silence!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Enright Women!

Shannon has to go sleep on the guest bed because I "click". It's drives her crazy...I could snore and rock the house. But no my "clicking" runs her out of the bed! I think it's just an excuse to get away from my cuddling:)

Shannon said...

There were only a couple of times that I had to sleep in another room. But, the clicking does drive me crazy. I've been tempted to record it so Brad can hear for himself. Good idea Kelly!

In her defense, it is hard to get back to sleep after getting up to pee, then laying in bed staring at the ceiling and the only thing you can hear or concentrate on is snoring. Sorry Wade!

Wade said...

Hey Brad & Shannon,

Kelly used to talk in her sleep. It actually kinda creeped me out the way she would replay a previous conversation word-for-word and sometimes would even laugh exactly how she did during the actual conversation.

It's times like these when I most appreciate being half deaf - I just put my good ear in the pillow and I'm out like a light!

Thanks for stopping by,

W

Anonymous said...

Awww shucks. That's nothing - a little puppy dog snore! You should hear me. *blush* Luckily Mike could sleep through a tornado. And screaming babies. :) - Jill

Kendra said...

That really is nothing, Wade. I live with a true apnea man who has been through sleep study, CPAP machine and even surgery. When our first was born, though, much time was spent for me in the guest room when I had no tolerance for noise when trying to get back to sleep after a night feeding. Patience is scarce in those days, just to warn you! he! Looking forward to seeing pictures of your little guy! Be blessed -
Kendra Vaughn

laura said...

i have to say i echo kendra's words of wisdom. but first of all it absolutely cracks me up that your precious wife in her pregnant insomnia state is creeping around the room to record you. i so should do that to gary, he doesn't believe any of my accusations of snoring, sleep talking (which about scared the bejeebes out of me on our honeymoon because no had warned me :) and sleep walks. it made for quite an interesting experience those first few weeks home with nathan. let's just say nathan didn't last long in the cradle in our room, at about a week and a half he was sleepig in his room, snoring daddy free. thank the Lord for good monitors that saved us serious marital strife :)

Wade said...

Hey Jill,

That's what I keep trying to tell Kelly! She doesn't realize how good she actually has it!
___________________________

Hey Kendra,

Great hearing from you!

I have particular sympathy for Donny and his sleep apnea. Because of my job I spend all day talking to Dr's about OSA. My product is Provigil, which helps improve wakefulness in OSA patients. Donny should ask his Dr about it if the CPAP & UP3 hasn't help him stay awake during the day (sorry for the shameless plug).

Kelly and I will be sure to cut each other a lot of slack during these first few months!

By the way, it's great that you've started your own blog - I'll be sure to stop by often!
______________________________

Hey Laura,

Kelly always told me that she talked in her sleep but it still took me a while to get used to.

The first time I heard her replay a conversation in her sleep it was actually one she had had with me. I was completely confused when I woke up and heard her talking - I kept thinking 'Kelly, we've already talked about this - go back to sleep!'

Speaking of sleep walking, Kelly has a great story about actually breaking her collarbone while sleep walking (which would be a good blog post idea for her!).

The sad part is that I made fun of her when she showed up to class with her arm in a sling - a mistake I would eventually regret a year later when trying to get her to go out on a date with me!

Thanks all for stopping by,

W