Shocking Confession #2

During our senior year at ACU, Monty, Brian and I lived in a townhouse on Bruce Way just behind Harvest Moon. One night, Brian and I were sitting on our front step when we heard a car coming down the road. It immediately caught our attention because we heard the radio and the 4 obnoxious girls inside long before we heard the car. These girls all went to HSU and lived 2 doors down from us. We never got to know them since they kept to themselves – we would soon find out why!

They came to a screeching halt with half of the car up on the curb. Out piled the 4 girls all talking at the same time (Brian does a great impression!). Brian and I just rolled our eyes because we could tell they were more than slightly inebriated (HSU girls inebriated? Noooo!).

They went inside their apartment and Brian and I had thought we’d seen the last of them for the night but it wasn’t but a few minutes later when they came back out, got into their car and drove off. I turned to Brian and said, “I bet those girls were so drunk that they forgot to lock their door.” And that’s when the light bulb turned on!

Brian and I ran around to their back door and, sure enough, it was wide open! Now, you come to expect certain things when you enter an apartment belonging to college girls. Somewhat clean – potpourri and/or candle scent – a pretty good attempt at decorating – a decent collection of chick-flick movies – a cork board to leave cheesy ‘Best friends 4-Ever!’ notes to each other!

Not this apartment! Brian and I were shocked at what we found! Quite literally it looked like college guys lived there instead of college girls. The kitchen was a wreck and stunk horribly! They had broken furniture! No decorations! A hole in the wall – literally and figuratively speaking. And gasp! Empty wine boxes stacked in the corner (yep, boxes not bottles). No wonder these girls kept to themselves - I had seen enough!

Knowing they wouldn’t be back until late that night (or rather, early the next morning), we decided that we would leave the girls “a gift” – something just to let them know that someone had been there. We couldn’t mess up the place – that would have actually made an improvement! There was nothing worth stealing (who wants a stack of chick-flick movies?)! Brian wanted to leave an anonymous note telling them to clean up – I doubted they would have ever found it!

That’s when I came up with the idea of going to their fuse box and shutting off their electricity – all of it! No lights! No refrigerator! No alarm clocks! No air conditioning! No nothing! C’mon! Do you think 4 drunk girls would be able to figure out (in the dark) how to turn their electricity back on? Genius!

I would have paid money to have been a fly on the wall when they got home in a drunken stupor!

“Oh ma gawd! Why won’t the stupid lights work? (hiccup!) Like – the switch must be broken! (hiccup!)"

The funniest part must have been the lecture that they got from our landlord, John, after having to drive all the way across town just to reset their fuse box! He was a sixty-something ex-Marine who did not tolerate in subornation much less public intoxication or destruction of his precious townhomes. He once got bent out of shape because I drove to his house to deliver my rent check without thinking to bringing Brian’s check with me. He told Brian, “Wade’s just a jerk!”

So if you went to HSU, lived on Bruce Way in 1998 and remember coming home late one night thinking you had forgotten to pay your electricity bill then, yep, that was me! And all I have to say is you have cheap taste in wine!