Top 10 Reasons Why North Korea's Kim Jong-Il Wants a Nuclear Weapon:
10. His new glasses and hair-do doesn’t seem to impress the ladies.
9. All the other deranged psychotic dictators have one.
8. Wants to finally win that elusive blue ribbon at the Pyongyang Jr. High School Science Fair.
7. Actually, he thinks it’s a time machine.
6. Still mad that he wasn’t drafted to pitch for the New York Yankees.
5. Turned down by Bravo to have his own reality TV show because he wasn’t interesting enough.
4. Tired of always being mistaken for a Hobbit.
3. Things just haven’t gone well ever since he appeared on The Ricki Lake Show.
2. Wants to trade it for handful of magical beans.
1. Plans to use it on Osama Bin Laden for accusing him of cheating at Scrabble.
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