Keep All 6 Feet on the Floor!

There's not much about Mrs. Hamilton's 4th grade class that I remember - which is more of an indictment of me as a student than it is of her as a teacher.

There is one thing I do remember - mostly because Mrs. Hamilton had to say it 10 times a day.

"Wade! Keep all 6 feet on the floor!"

Yep, I was a chair-leaner! Forward. To the side. Backward. It was mostly a nervous habit I did without consciously realizing it (a typical characteristic of ADHD).

Sometimes I actually tried to improve my chair-leaning skills. Mrs. Hamilton gave me Silent Lunch one day when I nearly fell back and busted my head open after attempting the tricky maneuver of balancing only on the back two feet of the chair.

But, all in all, my chair-leaning days have been accident-free . . . until last night! This probably falls in the 'just had to be there' category, but . . .

After our Home Team Bible Study at Brad & Melissa's house, we were all in the dining room eating pizza and bashing the Dallas Cowboys . . . when all of a sudden, through no fault of my own, my chair spontaneously explodes and I'm thrown across the room and nearly through a plate-glass window!

Well, what actually happened was I performing the subtle '2-0-2 Lean' - that's where your own two feet are on the floor but your leaning back so that the front 2 feet of the chair are elevated only a couple inches. (I became good at this particular lean after my Silent Lunch because it's harder to notice).

Apparently the 2-0-2 puts an enormous about of pressure on the rear chair legs - who knew? When my chair broke, the back legs literally split down the middle from the seat down, which sent me falling backwards and nearly crashing through the dining room window!

Now keep in mind, this wasn't your run-of-the-mill kitchen chair that Melissa picked up from Furniture 'R Us. Oh no! This was her dining room chair with the real pretty fabric and fancy wood finish. A set of 8, ahem, 7 rather thanks to me!

Another proud moment for Kelly!

Ever felt like a big, fat klutz and only 6 inches tall at the same time?

Brad and Melissa were cool about it (at least in front of me). Brad tried to make me feel better by telling me some story about how he had done the same thing one time. Melissa tried to play it off like it was no big deal. But, Mrs. Hamilton from 4th grade suddenly walked through the front door and yelled, "Told you so!" - which was actually kinda weird!

Adding insult to injury, when I got back home last night I had to change my "Days Accident-Free" sign back to zero!

Again, I am so sorry, Brad & Melissa!